Listen to my story

2004-08-17T01:31:00.000-07:00

Back to square one

It's been a long time since I've blogged. The darn library computer forbidened this site, so I couldn't update.

Jenn led worship.
Heng Heng found me.
Here I am thinking that
Liang finds me all crazy.
No guts to say a simple hi
They just pass like a bye.
How sweet Ron can be
I wish that he would be like me.

Haha. We have our class blog. Blah blah. Met my "kor", Abel on the 912 bus yesterday. Ron was late and we have not met at the interchange for the pass few days. I still owe him his birthday song..

I took the bus with Yikun instead. wah. But he is cute lah - no wonder Ron likes HIM. Too bad he isn't the one that will have a kind forgiving heart - I pity his sister. I didn't even dared to say hi to him when he was beside me this morning.

Hail to Papa Azim.

2004-07-13T18:09:00.000-07:00

RON-ANCING ROMANCE

Hahahahahaha! I just can't stop thinking about what happened today! Wahaha! I can't stop thinking about Ron! Hahahaha.

I used to hit, squish, slap, strangle and on one occasion, made Ron bleed. I was so sorry for my actions though. Hey, Ron used to call me goat and stuff - and that made my blood boil and erm.. Gave me a chance to get close to him? Well, hah! These are all just lame to me now! Ron and I are starting to become.. well, pretty good friends. He doesn't go around teasing me that much. Well, maybe hardly at all! But sometimes, and rarely, if he does, I just be the joke and laugh at myself. After all, I don't want Ron to shy away from me or think otherwise of my unruly behaviour. I did all that just to gain his attention - and that I found, was really NOT ME at all. As for my hunched back, there is nothing I can do about it right now. I'm like that. I don't know why.

I like Ron for the way he is. His friends say that he is super annoying and irritating; but on the other hand, I think this is what that makes him special to me. Yes, it is. Like me: an irritant beyond apprehension. Apart from that, people say he looks girly - but hey, that's what makes him cute! His face, sosoft, so innocent.. You feel as if you want to squish his cheeks. And his fluffy, bushy, shabby hair makes him look abit more of the "cool" type. Well, his only flaw is his height. Buit guess what? He's starting to grow taller already! Ever since Hila and I started calling him "Giant" instead of "Elf" so that he will grow. We call Hidir "Elf" and not "Giant" anymore because Hidir continued growing until the height of 190cm! Well, that sure helped both parties.. At the beginning of the year, Ron was about half a head shorter than me but now, he is just a ruler's breadth shorter than me - he's even taller than Hila now!

Ron helped me with all the props carrying during rehearsals today. Aw.. He's so sweet. Only the part where he tried to help but I got hurt by the arm chair. He was playing chinese chess with Jie Lun and Jian Hui backstage and hmmpz... Ignored me for awhile. But hey, he wanted to play English chess with me! But then we found out that the board was missing a line of squares so we ended up not playing.

I liked it when Ron wrapped me around the curtains while waiting for a particular scene to end so that we can change the props. At one point he pulled the front of my shirt together with the curtain.. Haha. And I had to grope or poke him through the curtains for him to stop. If not,he would have touched.. Er, nevermind. Ron also nearly hugged me when he tryed wrapping the curtain around me. I could feel his arm around me waist - thank God the curtain was there!

Ron also sang the Happy Tree Friends theme song and kept asking me to tell him about the episodes I have watched. Haha. Ron made me another "Mr Job's brain" because I sort of squished the one he made for me yesterday in the bus.

Ron's nose bled today because he was rushing to get out of the scene after setting the props in order as we were only given 10 seconds. He ran into the curtains and he didn't know that Tilaban was behind. So when Ron got through, Tilaban suddenly stuck out his elbow and that struck Ron's nose. I didn't know anything until I wanted to ask Ron about the settling of the props for the next scene. I saw him there, at the far end hoding his nose and had his specs removed. He looks as if he was going to cry, but he didn't. His face was just red though.

Hmpz.. Uncivillised barbarians. How dare they laugh at Ron when he was hurt and bleeding!? I was nearly going to cry and I felt so useless standing there and not doing anything. I just didn't know how to express care 'cos this might make Ron feel awkward. *sigh* At least I'm on my way. 40% there.

At least Ron's brave. He didn't want any of us to tell Miss Hesley about his injury. Still carried on helping me move the props despite his poor nose. Such a guy. that's what make him so great!

Ron and I carried the trees back to the Staff Workroom together with Fida. It's a pity and no excitement because Ron didn't toy with her bottle. I left with him but er, I don't know where Fida went.

I crossed the road with Ron and well, took the bus together. At the opposite side of the road, Ron asked me if his bag's shape looked funny. Well, indeed it was and one side was er.. "Distorted". So he told me to hold his textbooks for him so that he can check on his bag. Well, that's nice. Haha. Although I'm somewhat doing "labour work" for him but it was nice. And I held his bag for him to see too. Well, we boarded the bus and suprisingly, Ron told me that was Ziyang and Alina across the road at the other bustop!

Well, there was no seats left on the bus and Ron found one. I stupidly asked, and I know the answer but I so wanted to... " Wher am I suppose to sit?" But Ron sacarstically replied, "Not here." and he placed his books on the other seat. I had to sit at the one seat left behind him.

But I was very pleased, elated, touched, happy..Whatever.. When Ron said, "Aiyah, sit here lah. Very boring leh." And he removed his books and let me sit right next to him. *whee*

So we got down at the interchange to "run after" the bus, 912. Ron was like "My bus! My bus!". Haha. Then he told me to run after the bus for him 'cos his legs hurt or somewhat cramped. I told him I was going to the library. Ron shivered in the bus and he said he could feel the clot in his nose. I got off and I could still see Ron cuddling himself out there.

He told me that he wasn't attending school tomorrow.

*weep*

2004-07-11T01:33:00.000-07:00

DANIEL, JEM AND JENN.

Oh yes. Even though it wasn't my favourite pastor, Pastor Ronald who preahed today, but hey, Pastor Chris Long's pretty funny too. Wah, Jenn wore his "Superman" logo T-shirt and surprised me by sying my name? Er, yah. I'm sort of stupid to jump at such stuff.

His hair bounced along as he jumped during worship. Hehe.

Heng was up on the altar trumming his guitar! Boy did he look cute when he smiled (or laughed). Suppose he can turn his frown the other way round. Saw the way that Pastor Chris make Heng hit it for "Who's got the praise?". That was funny. And it had Heng going all smiley too.

I finally spotted Jemmy! Haha. He was at the back in a red tee. Hopefully he rembers how I look like and he'd better SMS me or I cry ah! And I wonder why I think he looks cute and fierce at the same time..

Pastor Chris made fun of Clair's Flower Shop's guitarist, Liang. Said that he was trying to hit on his 9 year old daughter and Liang thought she was 19. Hag, and he imagined a son to come beat Liang up. So damn funny.

2004-07-11T01:24:00.000-07:00

IF YOU'RE DOWN WITH MY JESUS, PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND SAY "YEH"

Pastor Chris had us dance to this rap he made up during service today. I actually enjoyed it and I was groving to it?! But I didn't the last time we were supposed to do it.. Hmm..

WHO'S GOT THE PRAISE

Who's got the praise?
(We've got the praise)
Who you give praise to?
(Jesus)

Give me a J
(J, you've got the J) x2
Give me an E
(E, yo've got the E) z2
Give me an S
(S, S)
Give me a U
(You've got yuor U, U, U, U)
Give me an S
(S, S)

Who's your saviour?
(Jesus)
Who's your healer?
(Jesus)
Who's your lover?
(Jesus)

If you're down with my Jesus
Put your hands in the air
And say Yeh
(Yeh)
Yeh
(Yeh)

Oh...
Yeh x6
Oh...
Yeh x6

R-AGE, R-AGE
R-AGE on fire
We don't need the devil
Cos' the devil is a liar

There ain;t no party like the Holy Ghost party
Cos' the Holy Ghost party won't stop

And on and on it goes.. Isn't the rap fun?

2004-07-11T00:47:00.000-07:00

DRAMA HURTS, ME AND RON.. ER.. FLIRTS? IT's GAY DAY!

Alright! The Drama and Gay Day! How come noone cares about Gay Day?

Anyway, I love Ron. Er, no. I mean for what happened today. Er, I also feel a bit hurt lah.. Well, I'll tell you what happened.

Mr Tsung is such a nag. Bloody gay, Ziyang says. Drama's not that fun with him in-charge. Kumaran's such an irritant. Yeh. Yanni looks kind of fierce. Ron.. *sigh* So innocent looking. It's so damn depressing that ther's a problem with his SIM card so that I cannot SMS him. I miss him! The text messages are the only way I can convey my true message to him because I have no guts to say it out in words!

Tripped over that stupid prop and nearly kena get scolded. Mr Tsung keeps complaining. ARGH! I can't stand him! In fact, ALL of us, Drama Club members can't stand him!

Sheesh, I don't really like the er.. Hema. So sacarstic and hyprocrite. Pretend to be nice.

How come everyone else now knows I have a crush on Ron? Who's been telling others about it?

Anyway, as long as Ron came and I got to see him.. I'm pretty happy with that.

Hah. Still thinking about that bottle Ron threw. Yes, not only the one he JUST threw. Yeh, he threw Fida's bottle a long time ago when I was his apprentice! Haha. This time, Ron "rolled" it across the beam connecting the porch to the language room. Well, we should be able to reach it if it was near the hole in the railing but surprising, Ron rolled it over to the other half of the beam in a straight line! Haha. It didn't even drop!

2004-07-06T17:21:00.000-07:00

BEATEN TO THE BORE

Aww.. Back to school! All plain boring Chinese with Mdm Ko first thing in the morning. *sigh* *sucks*

Alright! Good news is that there will be 2 drama club sessions this week! Woohoo! This means double the chance to see *ahem*! :) Whee! *blush* Sheesh.. Maybe. Er. Hope so. So badly want to.. SQUEEZE HIS CHEEKS (even Ziyang)!

I did my math project earlier - right after school. Didn't get to have my lunch because D & T was straight after that at 1.30pm.

I don't like the looks of the D & T teacher, Mr Cheong. He looks so.. I don't know how to put it but it's definitely NOT a compliment! The previous D & T pupils, like Mahdi, said that he was a racist. Yeah, maybe he is. Maybe he thinks that I'm a Malay because I look like one. It's so unfair, my isometric projection drawing was pretty darn okay but Mr Cheong said that it was HORRIBLE! What the bloody freaken hell is this?

Enough about that.

Never met Ziyang at the study area. I left the place because of Da Wei. Hng, say that I'm violent. I may be crazy, jumpy and psychotic; but I'm not violent! Okay,I admit that I am but I wasn't jumping, sitting on hitting him! I was just rantering rubbish and crapping myself out! I made fun of him for bullying Wan Er but he was just laughing at her work (or so it seems). *sigh*

But hey, his smile is damn sweet and charming lor! :) Too bad his attached already and there's no wondering why. His hair! What the! There were 2 ducktails sticking out from the top! Haha. So funny! He looks as if he has 2 devillish horns on his head! Haha.

Guess what? I didn't meet Ziyang at the correct place but.. I met him at Vista Point! Cool eh? Saw him when I was going for tuition. Eh? Ha. I don't know what made me think it was him but it IS him! I SMSed to check and indeed it was.

Oops. Gotta chao. Tuition's coming up and Whee! Drama tomorrow!

2004-07-05T18:25:00.000-07:00

I'M DRIVING ALONG COASTLINE

I'm driving along the coastline
I'm thinking of you
You just keep on crossing my mind
I'm coming to you

I'm just approaching the time
And soon it'll be night
Don't you worry I'll be reaching
But the tide may ride

*So just wait, I'll be coming (x2)
So just wait, I'll be coming to make you run
So just wait, I'll be coming (x2)
So just wait, I'll be coming to
I'll be coming to you

My fuel ain't running out
I'm almost there
And if you're there, I'll be there
I swear I'll be there

*So just wait, I'll be coming (x2)
So just wait, I'll be coming to make you run
(oh yeah)
So just wait, I'll be coming (x2)
So just wait, I'll be coming to
I'll be coming to you

And when it starts to rain
Don't worry I'll be there to take away your pain
And it'll soon start to shine
Then you know I'll be coming to you

So just wait, just don't hurry
So just wait, I'm be reachin'
So just wait, I'll be coming to make you run
(oh yeah)
So just wait, please stop crying
So just wait, I'll be coming
So just wait, I'll me coming to
I'll be coming to you

This song was written by Daniel Heng and his really close friend, Joey Tan (also Maisie's brother), sang it. I happened to be listening to it over and over while waiting to pass the record to Ziyang when we met - but we never did. I'm not quite sure how the lyrics go because the diction wasn't so clear. This will do for now.

Hmm... I'll try to upload the song and play it on this page - IF ONLY SOMEONE WOULD TEACH ME HOW! Anyway, the file's about 5000 KB, it might be too big to upload then. But hey, as being a good blog reader and taking your time to read this entry, you get an offer (not that kind of offer)! Just add me in MSN so that I can send you the record!

MSN address: jeandarknova_jielun@hotmail.com

The above address is just temporary and I'll change the nick to the new address that I'll be using sometime.

Chao.

2004-07-05T17:47:00.000-07:00

MONDAY COOLS

Alright! It's Youth Day! Hmm... The strange thing that happened this morning was that my grandmother actually though there was school and she woke me up! She even though I was late!

Sheesh.. I miss R-AGE. Suddenly, that is. The worship song, "History Maker" appeared in my mind just recently and the chorus had somehow "decided to live" in my head!

HISTORY MAKER (chorus)

*I'm gonna be a History Maker in this land
I'm gonna be a speaker of truth to all mankind
I'm gonna stand, I'm gonna run
Into your arms, into your arms again
Into your arms, into your arms again

I even wrote down that part of the song on the back of my foolscap pad! What has gotten into me? Is it - The Holy Spirit? I don't know and I'm not sure.. And I have been drawing drumsets too! I'm crazy!

Have to finish up those last minute work and go for my math tuition and see that weirdo teacher who looks sort of like my cousin, Betrant - Mr Jimmy Lim. Er.. He shows abit of gay traits = metro sexual... Er.. *oops*

Went to check out the "new" house's renovation and it's so YUCKO! Eeeeeee! I didn't even want to follow but I was forced to. Ate lunch at Causeway Point's Cavana. The food menu was a little different than the one in Sembawang. Well, maybe not just a little.. Had honey-grilled boneless chicken - um... Scrumptious!

Okay, dad chasing me to go home and prepare..

Gotta scram!

2004-07-04T23:10:00.000-07:00

TURNING AROUND

Okay. So Ziyang told me to write a song and express it to.. Er.. You know who. So anyway, here it goes. Don't mind if it's so emo. So mushy. So.. EWWW! Just read it. *Sniff* *Sniff*

ARE|YOU|GOING|TO|TURN|ME|AROUND?

I'm living life without a goal
Soaked through mud from head to toe
And sometimes I feel like just dying (woah-oh)
But you keep on prompting
And I feel your presence and urge to go on
I've gotta keep on trying

*You are like a friend
In needs and times, of a helping hand
And I can't keep on disguising
I can't make believe that I don't deceive (yeah)
Even when times are tough
And it keeps coming and I had enough
Are you going to lend me your shoulder to cry on?

I don't think anyone even cares
It's as if I wasn't there
And I need someone by my side
To help me carry on with my life
And the only person I need is you
The only one I want to guide me is you

*You are like a friend
In needs and times, of a helping hand
And I can't keep on disguising
I can't make believe that I don't deceive (oh no)
Even when times are tough
And it keeps coming back - I had enough
Are you, going to
Going to lend me your shoulder to cry on?

And just when I think I am falling
You might just be the one to make me keep on climbing
You seem so distant and I hardly ever knew you
But it's this feeling, having me on
And when the sun starts to shine again
You're going to be the one who'll bear all my pain
This is the only one I need to question you about
- Is it if you're willing
- Or is it if you want me to stop breaking
Are you going to turn me around?

*You are like a friend
In needs and times, of a helping hand
And I can't keep on disguising
I can't make believe that I don't deceive (I try)
Even when times are tough
And it just keeps coming - I had enough
Are you going to lend me your shoulder
I said are you going to lend me your shoulder
For me, for me to cry on

(I never felt a need like this in my life before
I think that you've struck me to the core
And I think I can't handle it anymore
I need you, need you, need you
Need you to turn me around
Need you to turn my sorrow into joy
Stop my mourning and make it change to the lovin' I need
Just turn me around)

2004-07-04T20:23:00.000-07:00

R-AGE's THE BEST! WARMTH AND CORMFORT NEVER THE LESS!

Sucks. I should have been at R-AGE's 7th aniversary rather than sitting in a huge quiet hall next to Camarine's family. The sermon was so damn boring. Unlike Pastor Ronald's. No other preacher can match up to him! BWAHAHA! He rocks! We all love him. I remember the time he made fun of Lionel and Brian (two very huge-built guys from YA).. Yah, that one was sooooooo funny! The one about the water in the pool being cold and both of them were marching towards the pool in a manly way then when their foot touched the water, they backed off screaming! HAHAHAHAHAHA! Woah! And also about the one where they wanted to play with the doll Candice was holding! "Ah! So cute! Come let's tie her hair, dress her up.." WAHAHAHA! That one was good!

*sigh* Unlike that Pastor Andrew, so boring. Even the worship team didn't have the spunk in them unlike our Uncle Heng Heng Daniel, Johann Tay, Caleb and the rest. There was no fun, no "yeahs", no spirit for the Lord! The place was so cold. The worship songs are kind of for the choir and even the presentations were super lame! The video presentation wasn't like the one we viewed on new year's midnight! Damned! I'm telling myself never to attend Camarine's church services again! ARGH! R-AGE is more likely to be the house of God and that the place seems friendlier and the there was more zest. Even though the place is small, we still have more Young People than The Rock does. YEAH! Make some noise ~ YoHz!

Go, R-AGE! You've got the praise! Whoo!

2004-07-04T12:45:00.000-07:00

COOL CELL, BORING DAY

Yes. The only part of the day which was fun was during the CELL. yes. The part about Timmy barging in and shocking Maisie nearly to death.

Oh ya, forgot to mention something.. Maisie highlighted her hair that she looks like a small high school girl and a cute little dollie! Hahaha.

Jenn in the jacket.
Jenn at the court.
Jenn talking on the phone with his hands inside his shorts.
Jenn comes over.
Jenn starts talking to me and Shin Yee.
Jenn starts questioning.
Jenn sounds funny.
Jenn's hair looks like those not on Barney's.
Jenn sticks his hand into his jacket.
Jenn's jacket's pocket.
Jenn gets my answer.
Jenn says "Bye".
Jenn walks up the stairs.
Jenn seemed sick.
Jenn didn't look good.
Jenn.. Huh? Gotta S-C-R-A-M!

2004-07-03T19:31:00.000-07:00

I HATE YOU, BUT I LOVE R-AGE

My best friend kept pestering me to go with her to her church's 16th aniversary. "Walau eh!" (sorry must use Tim's quote).. Never give me a peace of mind!

She doesn't give a bloody damn about my own CHURCH's aniversary! Hey, it's R-AGE's 7th aniversary tomorrow and my cousin is singing in the choir! And not forgeting Shin Yee - even though I still blame her for her teasing of Heng. Hey! Hello! I want to attend that service man! What the hell is this? Hello! It's suppose to be my first time attending it because I just came to R-AGE last year! Hey, hey, hey. She doesn't even care. NO.. SHE DOESN'T.. GOD-DAMNED!

I told Jenn about this though. He sort of sounded as if he was pleading me to go for our 7 years of youth ministry. But what the heck? Camarine doesn't even give a shit. Forces me to go and threatens me like hell. So I have to. I'm doing this for my sake. Yes. Or God's. She said this which hurts me very much: "Your mentor's sad but I'm happy!" What the hell. I wish I could just kill her.

What the BLOODY FREAKEN HELL! I'm gonna scram now. Can't take this nonsense anymore.

2004-07-02T22:35:00.000-07:00

BLOODY MATH, SIGHTLESS RON

Sigh. I didn't get to see Ron today! Wah! I miss him so much! Yeah, I remember Ziyang trying to help me make the first move - KISS him. Nah, wouldn't dare.. And Hila too. But her case was different. She was TEASING me. Hm. Guess I'll never be able to do it.

Anyway, I crapped. Yes. I do - and everyday at that too. And this time I crapped about Yogebear and Undewear. Me and Mahdi. Yeah. I made this song for Yogeswari but the last thing I could come up with was underwear, chicken hair and Mr Unfair. What the.. But then, Mahdi and I made up a really long imaginary blogspot address consisting of all the words that rhymed with Yogibear and underwear. What Mahdi affair and Jie Lun's ******** hair. Sharing Abel's topperware. Ha. But it's lame.

I also dropped my calculator today. Yeah. The whole screen smashed! The pastals "bleeded"! Now I have to get a new one. But I don't dare tell my mom! She'll cream me!

Anyway, this time, I kena get played out by Ziyang. What the.. Unfair right? I waited for him the whole time in the canteen but then he didn't turn up. So I went for the bloody math test in the computer lab. *Sigh* So good, he got to hang out and spend time with Alina... DAMNED!

I'm going to fail that test. YES. FAIL. Nothing I can do about it..

Alright! No school on Monday! Whee hee! And it's Grace Assembly's 7th aniversary! I MUST go.

My school's choir performing at the SYF opening ceremony tomorrow. Gotta laugh man!

The choir members claim that they saw some "sadako" or something in the school grounds when they returned at about 8pm from the rehersal.

SLEEPING NOW.

Go home.

The end.

Shoo.

Blah.

Fine! You continue staring at the screen while I go to sleep.

2004-07-01T21:14:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah! My bus concession pass was activated today. Hey. I now have a new rule to my blog. Er.. Entries, rather. Yep, from tomorrow onwards, I'm going to have SUSTITLES at the beginning of each entry. Yah. That will give you non-martains a wee bit of idea about what I'm going to say.

Well, here's a point. I have this blog full of wacky, funny and super cool entries.. but guess what? Nobody. And I mean NOBODY ever bothers to read all this stuff. Why? Yah, go ahead. Think I'm so bloody damn stupid - put up all these stuff; waste of time. But it's the benefit of all you homosapien readers out there. You, yes YOU and not MYSELF. I want to be heard! I read other people's blogs but I sometimes find stuff *I don't want to see. Yes. But my case is different, I want you to see the crap. Read and absorb every single detail I have entered and even appreciate my songs. Yes. So let's start now. NOW.

I was supposed to meet Ziyang - again. We keep wanting to meet each other since last week but we NEVER do. What the hell. We end up played out by the other party. But this time, he kena played out by me. So sorry. I can't help it. I wanted to spend time with my friends and since there wasn't much lower secondarys left to mix around with before I get spooked by all you upper secondary students. Yeah.

But Ziyang's lucky. He's loved. Right. LOVED. I am just a rubber duckie sitting in the mouldy bathtub. Uncared for. Thrown aside and despised. WHY?! It's unfair. And people think that I'm too L-O-U-D. What's wrong? It's my nature! Noone can control that! Maybe that's the reason why I feel unwanted, detested. Maybe I'm too hyper-active and always scream too much. But I really can't help it. I'm not like that when I'm with my church friends.. But maybe it's because I'm trying to be someone else. Yeah, maybe that's the reason.

Ziyang told me that he saved two bucks for his wedding. What the. That's only enough to buy the paper towels! Ha. It's sad that he isn't brought to Christ yet. I mean, his girl, Alina, is a christian but he isn't. By law, christians must be with christians if they ever were to want a relationship or life with the other party. But Ziyang isn't. He is safe - for now; because I'm not sure if Alina's baptized. If she is, then he has to start worrying. Have to wish for her to bring him to Christ even though I'm abit jealous that he's so loved. *sigh*

WAIT! Does this mean that I won't ever get to be with Ron? ARGH! NO! What kind of law is this? It's okay for now but once I get baptized and get my scriptures in three years or so.. Then he's GONE! WHY!? Life is miserable.

Hmm. I feel kind of down. Haiz..

Ron cut his hair.

EW! He looks like Ah Teo now! Now he does look like an egg head! NO! No more fluffy hair! No more the thing which makes him look a lot cuter. But it'll grow back - I guess. But I prefer it when he looked kind of shabby on Monday and Tueday. I mean, he didn't really look clean or presentable but.. I still.. Nevermind. You homosapiens never get to understand.

So I end this.

*Sniffle sniff*

2004-06-30T19:19:00.000-07:00

Drama Club tomorrow! Woohoo! And the choir will be having their dress rehearsal tomorrow for the SYF things this Saturday at the National Stadium.

I still can't find Zi Yang. Man, it's tough. I guess I'm a little too over-headed. *sigh* But come to think of it, I'm actually a bit scared of meeting him now.

Had my stupid and lame NAPFA test this afternoon. It was SHIT. It was okay for my shuttle run (I still got a B) and my sit-ups (in which it was the first time I made it to 38! I normally do 20++). Hey, the number of inclined pull-ups I made was seven! Yes, I know it's stupid and weak of me but at least it's better than doing one or two the previous years! My sit and reach sucked. It was soooo damn unfair lor! We were NOT allowed to take off our shoes! That added another 4cm to the stretch I had to do! But I couldn't make it! SHITBAG! That bloody god-damned teacher was so biased. My friends had flat sole shoes.. *Mr Unfair*

Sigh. Don't want to talk about it. Anyway, I was to meet Ziyang in the canteen after I had completed every test. But I got held back because of Mdm Salwana. But guess what? When I got down, Ziyang had left for the hall! What the... So I had to go up again! By then, he.. I saw him left by the glass door at the back with a friend. And mummy! I only managed to get a glimpse of his hair from the back!

We went to the library - again. Hehe. No tuition! Haha.

Wah, so tired. Hope that Charmaine will scan my picture in Friendster so that everyone could see! But I hope someone won't... Tch.

2004-06-30T18:07:00.000-07:00

Just borrowed this book called "The Bible Code" from the library in Sembawang yesterday, and I'm reading it now. Mahdi read the book already and he says it's scary. The book is about the hidden code found in The Bible written in Hebrew. The code was sealed until the computer was invented - 3000 years! They believe that the code tells what happened in the past where the characters of The Bible set foot on Earth. The truth of the code unveils when a few of the word's greatest scientists and mathematicians figured out the code and predicted the World War, Gulf War, the death of President Kennedy, the invention of the light bulb by Edison, launch of scud missile on 18th and the September 11 terrorist attack.

The scary part is that the code foretold that in 2006, World War III will start with a nuclear attack in Israel! And the beginning of the moving comet colliding with Earth! The world might come to the end and the code even suspects of Armageddon! It's only two years from now!

Jenn thinks that it's crap. But if it had foretold the rest of the disasters accurately, doesn't that mean we're all going to die?

This means that we, as humans, made by our Creator, have sinned too much for Him to accept us.

2004-06-30T00:37:00.000-07:00

Ahem! I have to say: SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING MY BLOGGY PROPERLY! IT'S THE TIME FORMAT! IT'S NOT CORRECT AND I CAN'T ALWAYS REMEMBER EVERYTHING! Anyway, * THE ENTRIES ON THE TRIP TO THE PHILIPPINES ARE COMING SOON SO LOOK BACK WHEN I TELL YOU TO! *

2004-06-28T22:25:00.000-07:00

Waha. Today school just reopened. Sheesh, I'm so used to falling back to sleep and sleeping at 4am in the morning text messaging Zi Yang.

Zi Yang is a nice guy from what I think. I haven't seen him (maybe I did, but I didn't know?) nor have I spoke to him. But he's really "enthu" about drums as much as Caleb and Jenn is. *sigh* Too bad he's attached already lah.

Anyway, Mahdi helped me with my maths presentation for tuition this afternoon at the Sembawang Library. He chose the topic "Ststistics" for me to present. Wah, why Mr Lim like this one?! But I managed to lay out the "floor plan".

Just remembered, that creamy bowl of soup at Cavana was damn nice. Their "Curry Temptation" was not bad but it was a little TOO hot for me because I sprinkled TOO much pepper on my noodles, soup and the chicken itself. WAH! HOT!

Then Mahdi was so helpful. Bought lemonade from a small shop who's not doing so good. And then me and Azim ask him to get one for us. Azim had to give him $1 to buy one for himself if we wanted it. Wah... But the lemonade tasted good lol.

Fretting, fretting, fretting. Whether Daniel Heng finds me too pestering or what. Haiz... He'll only reply one of my messages once a day. Is he so budget or does he hate me? *Sigh* Don't think I would be able to learn the guitar from Heng - EVER. Or maybe he's just busy? bHope so.. But he makes time for everyonelse.. *hurt* WEI! IF SOMEONE LIKE "U" THINKS I LIKE HIM, YOU'RE WRONG! SHUT THE HELL UP AND STOP SAYING HE'S SINGLE BECAUSE I KNOW THAT!

Ziyang didn't come and look for me.. *sigh*

Anyway, my presentation was real well. But I didn't go according to what I planned because I was too nervous - so to speak. Shivering and clattering my teeth. But then Mr Lim had to make me go just before the last because I complained to him that I did a whole bunch of things and prepertory on "Statistics" but I heard Clarence (smart alec) wanted to cover on that too. Wah.. Heng! Or I would have died!

Jenn's band, Clair's Flower Shop got 3rd at the HEAT finals yesterday. Hmm. Tim changed his number and I added him in Friendster. Tim's picture's so cute. But it spoils because he was frowning and not smiling while posing with a guitar (like Daniel.. Sigh). I like his hair. More stylo than Nigel's (oops!). But he's damn irritating. He has been MIA as long as I had been. Too bad, he came when I came.. SAD. There was Daniel Heng (and still is) and now a Tim. Walau.. Will this crap stop?

2004-06-27T01:42:00.000-07:00

Read Wan Er's blog and Jun Hao came into my mind as well. Sure miss that dude and his imaginary friend, "Xiao Jun". Sure, we have our very own class clown and William hung, Kit Ki; but who can compare to Jun Hao - the most funniest person in the entire solar system?! Remember last year and all his lame jokes. Haha. We love him. Even teachers don't get very much of the chance to scold Jun Hao - he always ended up making them laugh instead. But sometimes the teacher tyco, then he get scolded. But usually he will cry. But guess what? Everyone else, especially his gang (and Jia Hong [his best friend]) will say: "Or Hor! Teacher, you make Jun Hao cry.." Haha. Then the teacher will feel guilty and apologize to Jun Hao. Wah, he sure know how to slap away people's anger!

Yep. And I miss the good old days when I sat with Jun Hao. We used to sing the front part of Jay Chou's "Yifuzhiming" (the screaming an arhc part) into Ili's ears all the time, since she sat in the middle. We love irritating her and we would occasionally sing Jay Chou's "Padi Fields (Ditian)" using the words "Wenshan ah" as either "Ihsan ah" or "Wen Qian ah". We would count in chinese 123 or 17 or any other number before we sing to Ili. She's familar with 123 in chinese that we used more complicated ones! Haha. Woah! Ili had to keep covering her ears! But then once, *Mrs Teo scolded me and Jun Hao and said: JUN HAO AND GINELLE! YOU XIAO ALREADY IS IT?* Haha. then Ili complained that we kept singing but Mrs Teo just laughed it off; and we just continued singing! Haha.

Jun Hao likes fighting with Ili. They will hit each other with their water bottles and snatch each others things. I will always take Ili's bag and file and hide it somewhere. Haha. Helping Jun Hao what! Then Jun Hao likes saying Son of a BITCH to her. Once, Mrs Teo caught him saying BITCH to Ili and she asked: What did you say ar? Jun Hao stammer and said: "Er... BEACH. You know. Me and Ili later want to go to the beach to swim, ah!" Boy was that funny! And Mrs Teo let him off!

Jun Hao helped make Jia Hong's line popular too. We were returning from a scrabble competition when we were caught in a traffic jam. The driver behind our van kept honking at us. Jia Hong then said: "Uncle kan wo men bu shuang. Bu shuang ar? Zhuang wo lah!". But Jun Hao changed it to "Da wo lah!" instead. He also liked to say "gun lah ni", "stupiad" and "shuddup". How comical.

Yi Kai's one of his good friends. But it's weird though, whenever Yi Kai says something, Jun Hao (and occasionally together with Jia Hong) will scold him: "Shuddup lah, Yi Kai". Haha. then when others bully Yi Kai, he will scold them back and say: "Fang xue qu carpark (After school, go carpark fight). Haha.

Jun Hao and I used to play Pokemon cards together and everytime he will say "Da deck" one.

Jun Hao's imaginary friend "Xiao Jun" often makes us and Mrs Teo laugh. It all started when our exams were over. There was an unused table next to his seat. Mrs Teo told us to read a storybook. Suddenly Jun Hao dragged the table next to him and placed a chair. He then placed his Harry Potter book on that table. He then said: "Xiao jun, come here. Ah, sit ar! Guai. Read ar. Hao huo(good material - refers to Harry Potter book). Not like me, have to read this "Things that make us Singaporeans SUCK"." Then Mrs Teo will question him: Jun Hao, who are you talking to? Haha. And he will always say: "There, my friend, Xiao Jun. You blind ar teacher?" Good one. Sometimes he will blame someone for no apparant reason and the blame is: You make Xiao Jun fall down. Pay up.

Jun Hao used to scold Serene Su when ever she passed his seat. He will blame her for stepping on her bag (but she didn't). Serene will say no; then he blames her for touching his bag. Loved that one.

Jun Hao makes nicknames for a few "notorious" ones in class. Like Yelun. He called him "Ah Pei". Ting en - called her "Fei Zhai", "Fei Zhai porn auntie" and "Mo Wanwan". Haha. Loved that too.

Once, Jun Hao made me scold Gek Peng for nothing. You see, he kicked my chair (I don't know how he mangaed to but he did - sideways?). I suspected that it was from the back so I scolded Gek Peng. She said she didn't. Then he kicked again. And I turned around and scolded Gek Peng three times. On the final one, I saw Jun Hao chuckling away and Gek Peng, irritated. I then realized that it was him. I was not happy, so I kicked Ah Teo's (who sat in front of Jun Hao) chair. Ah Teo turn around and stare at him. Noone dares to scold Jun Hao one.

And during the Primary one's Maths-at-play programme. Jun Hao made fun of them. The kids were supposed to spin the wheel to get a prize. When the kids spun the wheel Jun Hao was in-charge of, he will always turn it to sweets or pencils. So bad. Then he will give a pencil and go: "HEY BOY, TAKE THIS. IT'S COOL. THE WORLD'S FIRST DIGITAL CAMERA. IT'S COOL." WAHAAAAA! And those kids were so dumb to believe it, that they went around telling their friends they got a CAMERA for a prize. That was a way to attract customers... Haha. And there was this one packet of biscuits left. He then told a boy: "HEY BOY, TAKE THIS. BISCUITS ARE COOL." And that poor kid. Went off looking upset because Jun Hao didn't let him spin the wheel.

Jun Hao. Jun Hao. I miss him. Funny guy. I bet he would be more popular than Kit Ki or Andy if he came to RS. *sigh*

2004-06-27T00:15:00.000-07:00

Today's service was really weird.. But at least it was fun. And scary. Shin Yee lah. Kept threatening me. I was so terrified leh! But wait. Let's start from CELL first.

Shin Yee keep saying I like Daniel. When can she stop? And Maisie also, why did Shin Yee go and tell her about that God-damned dream? And the Maisie didn't help either. She still poke fun of me... WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? I don't like him. I don't. I DON'T, I DON'T, I DON'T! Walau, Maisie somemore say what I went out with him and he's still single. Please lah, I can already die! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! But I'm still glad.

Maisie told us the story of her broken up family and her previously called, PA. It's so sad. And about her brother's failed relationship with a girl because her parents think that Joey was a bad influence just because he came from a broken up family! It's so unfair.

And she also spoke of her being known as "Joey's sister" when she was in Secondary School and Joey, as "Maisie's brother" because they look so alike! Haha. Comical.

So now to service. We had catchhy worship songs. And a weird dance. Daniel was not there and THANK GOD. It's not that I detest Daniel but Shin Yee's probably going to make fun of me again. But I wanted to get to know him. anyway, Shin yee told Johann who I am when we were "discussing" outside the toilets. And strangely, Johann didn't seem to sound angry at all! Unlike the way he asked about stuff over the computer; he was... NICE! Haha. Since Shin Yee and I were bikering, he said "Hi" but I said "bye". Haha. *lame*

2004-06-24T02:54:00.000-07:00

I dreamt of Daniel Heng. Now don't talk about it.

2004-05-30T11:41:00.000-07:00

Wahaa! I left! Left Singapore behind! Left Ron behind... *sniffle* But anyway, I'm sure it's going to be a blast! Yep. My long-time-no-see cousins have grown up! Kuya RR can now drive a car! Hmm... Let's start from the beginning since this is no longer the top..

My flight. Aww.. Geeze. Sat next to a wailing baby! And my mom kept shutting me up whenever I talk to her or ask her something because of that little pip-squeak. And it was so noisy! At least I blasted my music damn loud!

Ooh. The touchdown! Yeah! I'm so glad to be here but when the plane "decended", I thought I was dead! I couldn't tahan the pressure in my ear! *gasp* Thank God I made it.

Then we waited in the airport for an awfully long time beacause our flight reached early. There was this huge dog - twice the size of your ordinary singapore mutts. COOL! But then, I was kind off sad thinking that I'd miss Jenn preach..

My mom was a blob-head. She didn't read the instructions on this Singtel phamplet to make calls in that area. *dumb* And when I said that was because she didn't press the # key, she scolded me! What the hell is this? Anyway, Tita Rose changed her sporty blue jeep to a white family car. She was in there but the one in the driver's seat was none other then Kuya RR!He's grown so big (in both ways).

The cool thing about Philippines was that on the way out of the Mactan Airport area, there were signs. These were not ordinary signs but it had lines of a poem on them! The message was plant a tree today. It was nice reading it on the way but I can't remember.

Tita Rose's house is so big! But it wasn't as expected. There were two kanines, Aya and Boosie and a couple of strays roaming Seattle street. So cute, so cuddly but fierce. *scary* Amardillo was still asleep.

I mistook the helper's child for my other cousin, EJ. Haha. *lame* And I met this baby of Tita's - Cheska. You kow, Cheska Garcia's actually a famous model, but hey! This is my cousin! She's 1 year and 3 months old. Her birthday was on 20th march. She's so adorable and chubby! Haha. But her hair's really curly. Cheska can make sounds I can't do - COOL.

I waited for the rest of the people I was suppose to meet for about 2 hours or so. At last they came but... My mom told me that there was alot of guests stying over from yesterday's reunion - but where did they go? Anyway, Kuya Mikee has grown alot. The last time I saw him, he was just 9. Now he's in the same grade as Leonard. But I didn't talk to him. I was, sort of shy because I haven't seen him for years!

We went to the resort at night. Eeew. The pool was filty. Yucks! Who would take a swim in there? So I didn't. Since the only ones who were swimming were all guys. We ate alot of junk food there. And I thought it was dinner *haha* that I ate alot. My aunts kept telling me to talk to Kuya Mikee because he thinks that I do not like him and I'm a snob. What the. Eh, I feel the same too!

And I didn't. I was so tired. I thought we were going back to Amardillo's place when they said that we were having dinner. " Aw man! I'm fully loaded! " How sad. More baboy to eat (pork). But that spring roll and sauce was disgusting! It had some weird taste.

I'm so sleepy. Good night.

2004-05-29T18:27:00.000-07:00

I skipped the Meet-the-parents session today. *sinned* I didn't want to get humiliated in front of everyone else! Instead my dad scolded me because I didn't go. And my depressing Chinese and Maths results. Now he's going to confiscate my phone! WAH!

I'm leaving for tThe Philippines tomorrow. My flight's at 9.25am. MI 544. So I'm busy packing and fretting. I'm going to get my guitar soon!

2004-05-28T13:34:00.000-07:00

B-O-R-I-N-G

Woohoo! Last day of the term!

*shit* Forgot to hand in Geography file.

And Chinese Composition.

No more Rons for the entire holidays! *sheesh*

Missing Brother Jenn preach this Sunday.

No air tickets for tomorrow's flight. *Boo Hoo*

Meet-the-dorks session tomorrow. (parents)

Anyway, I went to the dentist to get my teeth scaled. Ow! That hurt! I'm so lucky my mouth didn't fall apart!

I saw this guy who looks alot like Matt. The hair and face and all but not the height. This guy's much shorter. And huh? Ya, he's also abit "havoc". He was screaming at 888 plaza.

2004-05-27T16:08:00.000-07:00

Ron forgot how Fida looked like. Fida said that she was right in front of Ron and he didn't mention about the bottle. But he did look at her - I guess.

Ron told me to ask Fida if she bought another bottle. He said that she would surely be very angry at that and that the answer will be yes. Well Ron, you got the yes right but the angry part? You're WRONG! Haha! Wrong!

Too bad lah.

2004-05-26T20:15:00.000-07:00

Today was a blast! And I'm not going to talk about the boring parts of the day - Chinese and Maths lessons.

About Drama Club... Big disappointment. There was no session today! But the wait till the disappointment was pretty intriguing.

You see, not only Ron was there; but WE did a lot of "bad" deeds together this afternoon. Here it goes.

Jian Hui, Fida and I were fiddling with Fida's bottle. When they were not looking, I took it and placed it on the ledge. Fida found it. But then, again when she was not looking, I took it. Now, this time, Ron asked me to throw it across that big "hole" in the air to him. The first throw was a success but the next..

F-A-I-L-U-R-E

I threw it too high up that it hit the ceiling and crashed onto the storey below (that was why I said that there was a "hole"). Ooh* Loud noise. Thank God I wasn't caught! Then the all angry Fida screamed at me and Ron. Asking us to pick up her bottle. Both of us didn't do so but Ping Han went down to get it instead.

Just when Fida thought that this was an act of kindness, she was WRONG. The bottle ended up as a football for Jian Hui, Ping Han and Jie Lun! Boy was she screaming like hell! And Ron said: "Go out and play!" So we stared thrashing the god-damn bottle like foolish five-year-old kids (erm, I'm not referring to you, Joshua). And in one case, Ron was nearly dead.

What happened?

Ron was hurling the bottle across another "hole" on the other side this time. Guess what? Miss Hesley was down below! She spotted a flying bottle and a Ginelle laughing at Ron.

She came up! *scary music* But luckily, she didn't tick Ron off. She just came to tell us about why she was late, blah, blah, blah.. And the whole Drama group (okay, not all lah) suggested to end this session and well, go home. *sigh*

But the on-the-way-home trip was really fun too!

Well, I still played around with Fida. Took her bottle. I mean tried. Then Ron. He helped me. He took that bottle from her. Sniff Sniff! So touching! And he threw it into a bush by the foyer.. "Depressing" And guess what? Fida was so mad that she started chasing the both of us! And what's more is that - Liyana and Shabana thought that I was chasing Ron! How comical can this get?

Then this Ron.. Hurled that bottle onto the roof of the bustop! Fida kind of looked like a crazy, barbaric fool jumping all over the place reaching for that god-forsakened bottle of hers. Ron wonders why that thrashed bottle is so precious to her and even covered in mud - why couldn't she just buy a new one? Haha. So I had to climb up to get it. My height came in use for once.. *sigh* Too bad old Ronnie's too short.

Then in the bus - another grandmother story to tell.

Ron sat behind us. Fida dragged me along because she was afraid that Ron will.. Er.. Kill her. But when she wanted to get off the bus, Ron held her bag so tight that she couldn't alight at all! Poor Fida. On top of that, I pulled her skirt zip - pure evil. When Ron finally let go, Fida jumped and she nearly slammed into the closing door! Wahahaha!

Then Ron started talking about IT stuff. Walau.. Matthew already one computer whiz and then this Ron also tell me about his computer. He kept telling me about how slow his system is.. Blah, blah, blah, yaddah, yaddah, yaddah.. Then he had to go. Not die lah. He was squealing "my bus, my bus!" when we got down. So the end..

2004-05-25T14:35:00.000-07:00

Today is a start of another B-O-R-I-N-G day at school... Other than that "elf" you get to see at the canteen.

I have nothing much to say. I'm still so darn sick.

Just place this URL here to remind me:

www.mizns.com

Some english thingy to do there. *sucks*

2004-05-24T15:47:00.000-07:00

I wrote this one while thinking of *someone* in class...

Return

I find myself lost in the woods
Dreams have faded from white to black
You have gone away for so long

But I believe in you
I'll give up everything just to find you
I only see myself
In your arms, once again

*Until you return to me
Everything I read seems strange to me
Until you return to me
Eveything I see looks strange to me
Until you return to me
Everything I read, everything I see
It all comes back to me

Without you on my track
I'm helplessly fading deep into the night
I only pray for you to come rescue me

And I know you are my savior
In everything you used to do
I can only live
If I ever had you

*Until you return to me
Everything I read seems strange to me
Until you return to me
Everything I see looks strange to me
Until you return to me
Everything I read, everything I see
It all comes back to me

Without guidance
I'm so lost
If I had only one choice
Then I'll be with you

*Until you return to me
Everything I read seems strange to me
Until you return to me
Everything I see looks strange to me
Until you return to me
Everything I read, everything I see
It all comes back to me

Sheesh... Thanks to my own word and Brother Jenn's song... This is one very weird song but I hope that it's touching that it makes you want to water...

2004-05-23T18:23:00.000-07:00

Hey, hey, hey! Guess what? Service... wasn't that all a blast... I nearly fainted during the worship - again. Stood too long. Aiyah, at least there were a few people who nearly did as well. And did Candice faint as well too?

Brother Jenn got a new hair do. Whee hee! He looks so much better and he has come to realize that wearing a hairband is something NOT meant for guys. Haha...

Jenn made a big blunder. Today's speaker told him to show a good joke. And you know what? Jenn did some "joke" - yeah. Showed his "weird" moves. And everyone laughed and he said: "Like my new hair?" That must not be intended as a joke I think. And the way he plays the bass guitar is weird. Sounded like clanking cans. *sacarstic* Haha... Leave that to Daniel lah...

And Brother Daniel's another blur one. He's so oblivious. He's still trying to find out how I look like (hopefully). I was right behind him and breathing onto his back! He didn't even notice! Wei, Ah Heng, can show me some publicity or not? Fine, just go ask Shin Yee to show you who I am!

Jenn's band was pretty much well-recieved. Not bad. Go Clair's Flower Shop! You rock!

Wah... So tired... My nose just won't stop running all it's mucus. Got to go rest.

Wait.

Tim. Yeah. That weirdo did went for CELL even after being brutely beaten up by Maisie. And we didn't expect him to have a prayer request - for his BEST friend (a SHE! Woohoo! Tim's in love!) to return from Australia. And then Maisie poked fun of him and said that he was praying for the love of his life! Tim blushed and he went; paisei.

Yeah... My mood's getting worse...

2004-05-22T11:11:00.000-07:00

Oh God! What am I supposed to do? I'm so darn confused! It's sweet little elf - He's mutating! What happened? No! I don't want him to change! He's turned into a short-tempered barbarian! He gets angry at the slightest things nowadays and I really don't know what's going on. HELP! Is it because of me?

Got scolded for some "particular reason".

Catching a movie tomorrow. Not confirmed though. Rachael's kind of reluctant to hold this.

Jenn's band's going to jam it out tomorrow at RAV. Keep it going, Jenn "Yong"? I mean Jenn Hui lao ge! You RAWK!

Wondering if little boy, Joshua would go to church tomorrow. *sigh* He's been MIA (Missing in Action) for over a month!

And Tim. Wondering if he would turn up for CELL after being brutally beaten by Maisie. Haha.

Off I go. My throat doesn't hurt but my voice is gone! ARGH!

2004-05-21T15:13:00.000-07:00

Ron has been playing Chinese chess ever since I spotted him doing so at the study area during recess. And he was still playing after school; but this time, at the second level study area. Sheesh. This is starting to sound like a newspaper report and I, the reporter. *lame*

Flunked Chinese just as I thought. Still wondering why Mdm Ow scolded me for not studying for Home Economics when I actually got an A1! What the heck is this? And I could have gotten another A1 if I only had 2 more marks for my History exam! ARGH!

Can't help but to think of "elf" (now I think that he looks like a sheep, for that matter [hey! I'm not trying to turn things around to work out for me. Noone cares about me anyway...]).

That lesbian Colin (he's a guy who acts like a gay; but he likes a girl. Get it?)! He smacked my head with his darn heavy textbook and then twisted my whole right arm one big round! Ow! Pain! For no reason somemore...

Elated that I did not run into that James look-alike today.

Shit. Didn't mean to say it but Ron's friends are irritants beyond my aprehension! Shucks. It bothers me and they know about the whole "gimick". Guess one of them is "greened". But I am MORE.

So what else? My side blog! Yeah... A bit messy though. Whatever. Really bored. This sore in my throat still hurts like HELL!

2004-05-20T20:14:00.000-07:00

Created a side blog.

URL: www.livejournal.com/users/allthingsdead

Life is really bad. Throat still hurts. Guess I'll have to miss that CELL outing though. Life is a total disaster.

Phew! That shower was fixed. Saved!

Darn! Still have Geography and History to do. Failed 1 subject so far. There's something I'll guarantee - I'll be crushed when I fail Chinese tomorrow. *sucks*

Forget it. No Rons today. *cranky*

Dennis is gone! *lucky*
But he'll be back soon... *oh man!*

Ron is gone and gone is Ron. Life is bad.

And Ron's friends are a pain in the "arse" (don't want to say it). Hate them. They're total irritants beyond my aprehesion. Shoo fly, don't bother me.

I'm waiting. Daniel can start teaching me as soon as I'm back from holiday. Getting a guitar there.

Passed this almost closing-down music learning center. Drumset sold at $580. Sheesh, a whole load of money! Nah. I'll get that sometime. Acoustic and classical guitars sold at thirty-nine bucks! This is not rocking good. Bad quality. Checked it out when I was going to the doctor's.

2004-05-19T20:11:00.000-07:00

Hey. Just moved to my grandma's house... And it's so unfair for my mom to get the room with the air conditioner!

Jenn checked out THIS blog. Told me some "warning" stuff. Hey, I'll do that later okay, Jenn?

So Jenn needs support fo his band, Clair's Flower Shop. Hope I got that right, if I didn't; Jenn, you can squish me. Then go support him! He needs that!

So I'll just pray for him, I wouldn't be going.

My darn throat hurts like hell.

Spoiled the shower. *oops*

Thinking of Ron again. Yeah. God made a real "good" answer to my prayer. I told him to help me out with the whole Ron thingy... And guess what? He answered by... Having no Drama Club session for today. Aww... What the heck. And I brought a pile of huge boxes to make the props. Sheesh... Made me carry that around for no reason.

But it was a pleasure. I spotted him during the fake Fire Alarm Drill. Half-way while walking pass the gap to the assembly area. And, walking to my class's position. Right in my face, and gave a little (but long) "Baaaaaaaaa". So... Sweet. I have become his "pet" goat. Ergh. And now, I'm starting to think that he looks like a sheep. The one form "Sheep in the City". Yeah, that cute and innocent looking one. Ah! Can scream you know? Goat and sheep: same family. No lah. I'm not making a big story out of it though.

Big problem. BIG. That James Cheong look-alike is bothering me. No. Not pestering. It's just that he (his name is Dennis Low Jia Wei)... Well... Everytime I turn; regardless of whether it's after school, before school, during recess, after recess; I see him! Opposite of the canteen block, at the corridor when moving to class and out of class, in the canteen... EVERYWHERE! This really scares me. I want Ron and not him. Dennis is really freaking me out!

Aiyah... I just created another blog. On live journal. I used to have one under it but it sort of got "abandoned". Not really sure if it will turn out well... Relax. I'll give the HTML if it is good. Placing pictures there in the future once my computer is "cured". And maybe write special stuff there. I don't know what. Sparks? Songs? Short verses? Bible verses? Quick happenings? Yeah, about there.

Leaving for The Philippines next Saturday. Woohoo, can skip the Meet-the-parents-session! Going there for a special reunion. It's been 2 years since I've last been there. Checking out my aunt's new house as well. Heard that her bedroom is the size of my previous 4-room flat. Woah! Damn big!

Just hope that this dumb sore throat would go away fast. And yes, hopefully I can find something to wear for swimming by next Wednesday.

Have to miss the Grace Retreat. Kind of sad. But I'll go next year. I'm new and I don't really know anyone that close, so there's noone to bunk with. Might miss Jenn's preaching too. *sigh*

Pray for me and bless me.

Darn! This throat is getting worser.

2004-05-19T02:40:00.000-07:00

This is a very important entry. In fact, it isn't an entry! It's a notice!

Please note that:

If you want to add me in Friendster, my email address is:
psychotic_homosapien@yahoo.com.sg

Yep, it's also my new email address.

2004-05-19T02:27:00.000-07:00

Hey! This entry goes out to Jenn! A special thanks! Your song was superb! Hardcore! Woohoo! You rock!

Please check it out.

His blog link is right there on the side bar.

or

www.livejournal.com/drumdeadcrazy

2004-05-18T23:17:00.000-07:00

Oh sheesh... Do I have to keep running away from Ron? I really wish that I wouldn't. It's sick. I can't help it. The way he mutters his "Baaaaaaa"s are so damn cute. Er... Sweet, I guess. Yeah... Super weird guy.

So I'm really hoping that things in Drama Club would turn out real smooth. Yah, sweet. Whatever. I'm blabbering nonsense again. Hope the I-like-elf thingy won't go to far (or near, for that matter).

Hey, guess what? We had an art competition today. Draw our dumb school compound. Nothing better to do; just wanted to skip that dull and boring archeology talk... And Geography. But let's just say that I can't picture dimensions that well. Or even, for a matter of fact. A dull life is what I aspire - so a monotone drawing was what I submitted.

Wad Kao! This is undispictable! Samuel (not Samuela) has a bloody sick mind. He keeps talking about s** while I was drawing. Made me feel all quirky and all. And with Mahdi, Chesten and Azim. Gross Samuel wanted to "rape" me if I didn't lend my cell phone battery. Guess he wanted a feeling of how raping gays was like... *lamer* Big lamer he is.

And that loser, Mahdi, he told Samuel to rape Fitri. These guys are damn SICK! Eeeeeew. Aiyah, I don't want to talk about it and I think that you wouldn't want to hear it too. So I'll stop. You can ask those geek-os yourself lah.

I met the guy who likes Wan Hui. Ooh. He looks like Lionel Wilson Ong. I was forced by that Desmond and the Chang Hong to create a God-damned lame and childish deck. And lousy as well. I don't PLAY cards anymore, I COLLECT them. This is just utterly stupid.

Haha. That Ming Hong was so venerable. He went to the condominium to have a splash (swim) with Desmond and Chong Yi. And the worse part was: He didn't even know that he was acting lame, dumb and stupid in front of her! He didn't even know that she was coming!

Those three in the pool suck. Kept splashing water at my "graphpaper" (uniform lah). Was so darn angry that I threw all their sandals in the pool and hit their heads.

My house is so empty now. Moving out soon. *sigh* Why? No TV, no fan... You expect me to live in this condition? So I slept damn early. But... I woke up late in the night to do this. Bad ain't I? This is what I call "working in the shadows". So I have to go now.

Pray that things won't go bad during Drama Club tomorrow.

And the pain in my throat and back - happens everytime I breath in heavily.

Good night blog readers.

2004-05-18T18:04:00.000-07:00

"The word of God never leaves you". It's true! I lost me Bible and it came back to me! I was so lucky! Now I can continue from the Chapter I've stopped at.

Azim found my Bible. It had slipped from my bag flap when I was moving to the hall. How worried I was! So, here's the version of how I lost it written in a song:

How the Bible got lost in my hands - by ME

Clutching the Message from God
I read it on my way to school alot
Couldn't understand a word at all
But it's okay, I know that I'll be absorbing it
It just takes a bit more time

And I was careless enough
To lose the Word of God
I am helpless
Without it in my thoughts

*But the Word of God returned to me
As fast any eye could see
I know that He will not stray away
And I'll learn and grow in him each day

It's not just my luck
It's my Father, He came to me
I'm His child, and His love is there as it will be
And I want to thank Azim
Even though I sometimes hate him [alot]
But because of him...
The Word of God returned to me

*The Word of God returned to me
As fast as any eye could see
I know that He will not stray away
And I'll learn and grow in him each day

Yeah, so that's about it. But hey! I sparked an inspiration in Jenn's brain! Isn't it cool? All that I said was that the Word of God returned to me and viola! A song came right out of his mind!

Go check out the song @

www.livejournal.com/users/drumdeadcrazy

2004-05-17T15:38:00.000-07:00

I'm doing this entry at the wrong time. No, I'm not in trouble. It's the computer at this dumb library, the blogger time here sucks! Let's get on to it!

Yeah! Ron! He didn't run away from me! But it ended up vice-versa! The moment I saw him, I ran away!

I know it's stupid. I did not want him to run away from me but I ended up running away from him! What's wrong with me?! Let me tell you what happened when he was THERE!

I was in the canteen with Hila and Jia Ning's friend was at the table in front of Ron's usual place. I thought that he was NOT there so I was kind of calm and all... Then guess what? When I lifted my God-damned head, there it was! Ron's baby-faced, Ah Teo-ish, cute, little cuddly face! Argh! And we looked at each other: straight in the eye! Oh my! I could have fainted at that time... In Ron's arms? Nah... I'd wish to! Haha... FAT HOPE lah!

And I... RAN AWAY! Why did I have to do that? What the hell. And he had a puzzled look after that.

I was still dying to see him, so I went back to the canteen... But this time, I went to Andy's gang. Indirectly's my game... Hahaha! And I didn't see him at his place, so I was kind of sad. And you know what happened? He was at the table right in front of me! Tadah! Standing and leaning against the table right in front of my face! And I didn't even notice?! How blur can I get? And he said... ****... He still hasn't stopped! Ron! Ron! Ron! Until now, you think that I'm joking? Why are you so senile? You sound so gentle over SMSs but not in person! Why?!

Anyway, Desmond and Chang Hong got scolded and "taken-away" for playing cards in the library... And that librarian was none other then that big, fat, flabby, black bastard Mahdi had said about when we were using the computer on the Research Level! Wad Kao! How unfair!

And as I'm ending, those two have "mystically" disappeared. Probably tricked me. MOST PROBABLY stole my most precious PKMN cards and sneaked off... Hmmpz... Those mean, nasty idiots. I'll deal with them later. Wait! What if never?

Phew! I'm glad I found my Bible! I brought it to school today so that I could meditate on the word of God since I had alot of time after my exams. I forgot about placing it under the flap of my bag and it slipped through. Thank God for Azim! He found it for me; and Mahdi thought that he was reading it!

Hey, sort of regretted passing my Friendster password to *someone*. Afraid of hacking though. Better change it!

2004-05-16T17:12:00.001-07:00

Aw! Jenn and Daniel were not at church! Guess I got their arrival time mixed up! Haha... What a loser.

But yeah! We're going to have another CELL outing next week after service! We're going to Plaza Singapura after service to catch the movie Shrek 2.

But then, we still have to make a report or an essay by next week. Seriously. Yes. Something about thanking God for some incidents in which He helped us in. Hmm... Have to wait for it to happen then... How about trying... The whole Ron thingy? Whee! Haha... Hopefully.

Haiz. Joshua! He's missing! Alert! Code Red! He has disappeared into thin air! He has not been going to church for over a month! Why? He switched church or what?

Tomorrow! I die! Ron? Is he going to run when he sees me? No! Please, no! God, help me! Fine! I'll pray!

2004-05-16T17:12:00.000-07:00

2004-05-15T22:54:00.000-07:00

Ron! Yep, you've guessed it! He did NOT reply! But... At least he told me why later in the night! Heng... I'm not so cranky anymore... Just hope that he would not AVOID me once we get back and see each other at school... I'm going to cry and cry and cry and cry like hell! I really don't want this to happen!

Good news!
Daniel Heng's returning tomorrow,
Woohoo!
Guitar, here I come!

Jenn's returning tomorrow!
Woohoo!
No reason,
Just feel happy for him.

And I just started
my regular quiet time
talk with God!
I'm so happy for this achievement!

2004-05-14T22:05:00.000-07:00

Ron is still ignoring me! What has gone wrong? Is it because that he knows that I like him? But he still replied me the days before and he said that he did not hate me! What am I going to do? I miss that little elf... Er, giant. Don't want him to remain that short.

Jenn just left this morning for KL to perform the launch of the Three Letter Session there. Whoohoo! Hopefully he would have a successful trip and most importantly, a safe return!

So...

Pray!

2004-05-13T23:56:00.000-07:00

Ron has been ignoring me for the whole day! I really miss him! Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie... Huh? Okay, nevermind. Just hoping that he would take notice of me soon... Hmm... Let me cry over this matter... I'll be back tomorrow.

2004-05-12T22:25:00.000-07:00

Oh man! Isn't this a boring day. All Ron says is: "Oh, okay." I'm so sad... Hopefully he does not run away from me... It is just a too unexpected hell-of-a-shock for that little elf. Aww... isn't that sweet. We had nothing to say for the first half of the day and we started a whole load of crap (okay, I started it) later in the night. Whipee! Hahaha...

He said that I needed a psychiatrist... Hmm... If he has feelings for me then he should PAY the fee for me. Sorry lah. Haha. Yes, I'm barmy. Ooh, I can't stop thinking about... Ah Teo. What? You thought I missed Ron? Yes, I do. I was refering to his "Ah Teo-face". And he wanted to puke. Hmm... And I said that I could catch his puke. I could. I would. Aww... He is so cute. He thought I was speaking in spanish and french when I used "our" slang in an SMS. Hmm... Well, guess I am a little too... Er... Dumb...

Ah yes! Jenn's going to KL to perform a gig. Three letter session! Whoo-hoo! Let's pray for him and hope that he has a safe trip, and a good time. Not mentioning a SUCCESSFUL one too.

I really don't know what to say and Colin was just glancing at this entry. NO! And Arif. Dead meat. Now they know about the Ron-oh-Ron thingy. Why me?

2004-05-11T22:21:00.001-07:00

TeArS ArE FaLLiNg

This wasn't meant to be
I just wanted to be me
What have I done?
Just have upsetted myself

And I'm wishing for too much from you
I can't claim what's gone
It hurts inside and I don't want to say it

*And I think to myself, cry to myself
These tears are falling
Can't help but it's fate
Don't you think it's a little too late
And I can't control myself

See what's happening to me
I've become something mean
Have I gone too far
And now my mind's set on you

And I'm falling apart, away from you
I can't explain what's gone wrong
It hurts inside and can someone save me

*And I think to myself, cry to myself
These tears are falling
Can't help but it's fate
Don't you think it's a little too late
And I can't control myself

And the winds would quickly turn back
And I'm left standing here all alone
And all hope is gone
And I'd wish you would appear right before me

*And I think to myself, cry to myself
These tears are falling
Can't help but it's fate
Don't you think it's a little too late
It's hardcore, just to see you smile

*And I think to myself, cry to myself
Living with the guilt and the pain
These tears are falling
I'd try to wrestle the pain to the ground
But I can't stop crying
And I tried to forget all the things that you said
But memories' still been around

Now you're gone
Now you're gone
Away from me

Now you're gone
Now you're gone

2004-05-11T22:21:00.000-07:00

Ah! How wonderful can life be? And how... This world is full of terrible "two-faced" "friends"... Asshole... So angry just now. I hate this world! Arch!

So what made me happy and flared up today? Let me tell you what really made me boil like hell. Well, not so damn angry How shall I put it? Erm... Puzzled. Yeah that's the word I'm looking for. So I'll start.

I switched on my mother's handphone because I wanted to switch the phone. I saw someone's message in the inbox. So I saved the number in my SIN card. I smashed that person later. It was lie yang. But she denied it. I have no idea why. Checked with all the past pupils and no doubt - it's her...

But I'm not upset about her lying to me about her name... It's something else. Her brother. That's what's bugging me. Her brother is said to be little... No. Not Joshua. Enemy or some other crap. Some friend with a big bloody hatred for Ron. Whatever... I don't want to be in the center of somebody else's business. *sigh*

The happy part. Yeah, as you've expected - long story. You see... I was kind of "upset" when shoreline didn't get *ahem* a human's number for me when it was clear that he was in the canteen too (at that time)... So it was DEPRESSING. For then. Now is NOW.

But it all came back. I got it! No. Not flipped to a Bible page... I got his number! Stupid... Dumb... Who would get excited over such stuff? Yes, ME. Thank my Father up in heaven for this wonderful gift of my entire life. Not really. It's wonderful, but the rest of my life was still to come. So that's some crap over there - in case you wanted to know. Why did I praise Him? I thought it was over; but then this came! Yeah... But it's got nothing... Absolutely NOTHING "to do with the stars". Don't ask if you don't know what it means.

I'm just considered lucky. I guess. Hopefully it's real. So it's natural for someone to text message once he or she gets THE number, right? So I did... And huh? How did I get the number? Easy peesy. Two-sided friend's God-damned brother. And I still don't believe that he actually has enemies. POWER. COOL!

He's funny. His slang, the way he replies my message. And his fingers run over the keypad as fast as my cousin too. Hmm... Not bad... And he was puzzled at the whole "gimmick". I don't even understand any of the situation these people are going through. I C-A-R-E. You don't but I do.

Ah, so we changed the subject. I told him... Er... Indirectly I guess. Told him about some "his face pops out everytime I want to play the guitar (All I know is to make "brng" sounds with no tune)... Yeah... That did it. And what got me was that... THAT GOD-DAMNED COLIN TOLD HIM EVERTHING! That sort of helped me in telling him though; but got me damn embarrassed... How could that... "homosapien" do this to me?! Argh! I'm so pissed. So I kind of got way too quirky when he asked me if I really did... Sheesh... Ah Teo... Forget. I'm too upset. Song. Emo. That's what I'll do. I'll publish it later. He had just "sent a nites". Sleep. *Snore* Just hold on... Tears are falling... Hmm... God song title..

2004-05-10T21:12:00.000-07:00

That dinner was awesome. Nice spread of food there. Had a hard time eating that crab pincer. But it was freaken good... And HOT at that too! Nigel, Danson (my cousins) and I had a "black mess" on our finger tips! Had a grain of rice landed on my nose and guess what? I was totally oblivious to it! Argh! Why didn't Nigel tell me (since he was sitting next to me) until everyone started laughing at me?! That's just so unfair!

After having eaten, the rest of the night was so damn B-O-R-I-N-G.
I had totally nothing to do! Other then sitting on the chair and listening to some explicit music upon my cousin's headphones. It's a pity that Leonard didn't come. He always misses out on "family occasions".

Oh ya... I haven't tell you about when I got there, right? I had nothing to do after I made that entry. I didn't have any money left. So what did I do for the next... Erm... Let's see... Two and a half hours... I... roamed around... Read Matthew until 17:1 of my Bible... Read my Discipleship Book... And answer Jenn's SMSs... Yeah... And I sill thought I had forty-five minutes left! So I took the train to Sembawang, then take the bus to my grandma's house. I know this sounds crazy. Waste time and waste money. I really needed to kill time because I thought that Nigel would only be there at about six plus. Guess what? Ha... He got there at three fifty! Would you believe that? He's always late as he is always hanging out with his friends... At Orchard Road. I kept everyone waiting instead!

So how dumb was I? You can tell me in my "Dreambook"... To put it simply, guestbook.

2004-05-09T16:56:00.000-07:00

Mother's day. What's so special about Mothers' Day? Who cares? The only thing I care about now is the dinner. I'm meeting my cousins, aunties and uncles for some Mothers' Day dinner. I don't know why they always say that there's part two dinner on Fathers' Day when there is none?

Church. CELL. Maisie is usually the one who's late. Today was exceptional - I was the one late. The dumbest thing was that I called Eunice half-way through CELL. What a big blunder!

So I sat next to my CM in which I didn't know - Joseph. He's a quiet guy and only laughs, talk and says prayers when told to. Can you believe that? My Cell Mentor!? Sorry. But he did help me to end my prayer though. I made a total fool of my self during the prayer! Joseph had to whisper to me the ending. And Maisie? She... She was sort of... Er... "Miming" the words.

Service was a blast! No... Not just the preaching and the worship, but the start of the service! JENN! I had totally forgot about him! Yeah, I said that I was going to look for him, right? I saw him at the front of the hall when I entered with Eunice. We were "quarrelling" whether what Susanna was wearing was a skirt, or not in front of Matt and the usher "gang". I decided that I was going to go up to him after I had put my bag somewhere since he was... Er... He looks as if he was... Jumping on someone?

As I said, Eunice was with me. So she was beside me all the time. I was looking out for Jenn while Eunice was... I don't know what she was doing. Then I saw Jenn walking towards where I am - and fast. He held out his arm and pointed at what seems to be me (and it was me) with that weird look on his face. Those confident-and-to-scare kind off look. Positive.

Jenn suddenly said, "YOU!" Eunice got a fright though. She jumped and half of her body fell from her seat. Her eyes were... Er... Like Colin when he sees something "thrilling" (like when Hila screamed in the bus when she saw Daniel; when a bunch of sec-ones had their umbrellas spread out and when he was playing with my tripod in which he said was a "giraffe" with a spinning head). She thought that Jenn was talking to her! Hahaz...

So Jenn said, " So it's you! Ah, Hi!" And then, he stuck out his hand in which I was suppose to shake (but I forgot I was to until I remembered). *Wait, wait! I asked how he knew it was me and he said that he would explain later. So... Of course I shook his hand lah... Basic courtesy. Hahz... I don't believe it! I was actually going to look for him, give him a tap on the back and go BOO... But it ended up vice-versa! And he SCARED me!

So he explained that he saw someone in Friendster under My Friends list who also put his band's picture. This happens to be... ME! Yes... Me... Surprise, surprise! I had a number of email addresses, so I created another account - for fun. He said he saw my Neo-print there. I don't recall having other people who put his picture too. And I really don't remember having place a Neo-print of me there! Other than in Hila's... But she didn't put his band's picture there!

Enough said. Let's talk about Daniel. Heng. He left for Vietnam this morning. Hmm... Waiting for him to return so that we can start the... Acoustic guitar lesson! Whee! Waiting for him to confirm with me the days for lessons as... *ahem* Jeremy has lessons with him on Saturday... How depressing...

Another long blog entry... Have to go now. Cake is waiting for me. And why did little Joshua the five-year-old-kid not come! Aww... Kind of miss his... face lah... I remember when we first met... Er... This sounds more like a romantic love story... Hahz... But I remembered how we stared at each other and nothing came out of our mouths... Isn't that sweet? And he said that he mumbled a little "Hi" in which he only said from his HEART. Aww...

2004-05-08T15:09:00.000-07:00

Darn it! Is every Saturday a "Mom-scolds-Ginelle Day"? *sucks*

I don't really have the mood to blog now, so I'll make it fast.

Tomorrow is when I'll find Jenn. I figured out that I should muster up all this "courage" I have and tell him. Don't want him left in the dark, right? Yah, so that's what I'll do... But I'm scared of him... -.-" Hmm... Maybe I should just stick to letting him find me in church... Haz! This way he'll never find me!

2004-05-07T22:14:00.000-07:00

Oh my! Isn't this wonderful? I can go for service this week! Whippee! Can go and find Jenn and scare him... Or even better, make him search for me! Haha! I'm so bad. Hey, better than having no idea who am I, right? Ah, he's never going to find me! :)

Yes! I'm half-way through! Exams are almost ending! Whee! Then terror strikes back! Meet-the-parents, sign examination scripts - spells only one word, and that is - DIE!

There's something I really want to know. It's not like I should care or something but... Where did that five-year-old kid go? He's gone... Never see him at church for like... About a month... What happened to him? Did he "quit" or something? And he hasn't been online during that period of time... Hope to see him this Sunday... Hopefully... Hopefully... HOPEFULLY.

2004-05-06T01:19:00.000-07:00

I am so mixed-up! Oh man! You see, Daniel had just approve of teaching me how to play the acoustic guitar. Yeah! So he wasn't angry or just don't want to teach me after all! I thought too much - just like what Jeremy said. Haha... I'm getting a little over myself these days. I'm so happy that I forgot I had one more problem... A BIG one... I DON'T HAVE A GUITAR TO BE TAUGHT ON! How dumb... So Daniel asked me to borrow one... So I approached Jenn Hui lah...And guess what Jenn said? "Buy one, it's good investment." Yaya, very funny...

Anyway, I feel so damn stressed out over Ronnie! Argh! I still don't know what to do... How to say... And everytime I try to, I end up injuring him! What's wrong with me!? I saw him yesterday... He was so... white! I don't know.... white! Sad... But he is so damn cute! I wish I had followed him when he was alone... Darn I didn't and I regret... *sucks* *depressed* *sob* I miss him and I can't stop thinking of him... I like him so much... Like his cute little face... Damn jealous about the girls he's with... Damn

So I end this... Got to go...

2004-05-05T17:19:00.000-07:00

Oh man. Yeah. Love it. No... Not the... God-damned VIRUS! No, no, no...

Yeah! Got Daniel to teach me the guitar!
Don't have a guitar
How to play?
*sob*

Dumb!
Stupid "worm" hasn't gone away from my computer
Hate that brainless thing!

Bless me in the exams tomorrow!

2004-05-04T17:13:00.000-07:00

So now I am sitting here, swiveling the chair in of the computer, trying to shake Mahdi's half a butt on the seat. Haha... I have nothing else better to do...

Tomorrow is my Chinese exam.
Hate Chinese.
*sucks*

Miss Nora spotted us.
Darn!
In deep trouble now.

Stupid virus, stupid computer
Worm came back after fixing.
Should have activated the Firewall a long time ago.
*regret*

Sitting here... Waiting... With a bunch of uncivilized... H-A-C-K-E-R-S
Bless my computer.

Wait, wait... I really pray for recovery. Why?I swallowed a bit of wood from an ice-cream stick last night. Ow... There's this splinter stuck down my throat... Pain... pain... Can't stand...

2004-05-03T15:10:00.000-07:00

Dumb computer! Got infecting by a God-damned virus - some kind off worm. Some dumb idiot launched this God-forsaken virus worldwide on Saturday afternoon... So from now on, I'm adding entries in the library... Sorry, no songs for the time being...

2004-05-02T16:04:00.000-07:00

Sniffle... Sniff... Service! Missed it! Jeremy didn't go for service either... He is down with a cold. How sad. Daniel still hasn't approved yet... Why!?

Anyway... Something has been bothering me for a VERY long time... And only now I'm saying it : It gets super-irritating when everyone thinks that I'm a Malay... *sucks*

2004-05-01T12:30:00.000-07:00

Service! I can't go for tomorrow's service - and Jenn's preaching! No! All because of having to pack my stuff because I'm shifting my house... *sucks* And the just-grown-a-year-older Daniel Heng, hasn't approve to teach me how to play the guitar... On the other-hand, Jenn has apparantly no time (over power - according to his words)... The world seems so unfair... Humps...

2004-04-30T22:55:00.000-07:00

Today is my father's birthday. Didn't really give him anything... Didn't even wish him... I feel so guilty...

2004-04-30T00:00:00.000-07:00

All young people out there! Due to the mix-up of my blog template, I have decided to terminate my Song Entries in my other blog. My appologies (the template was superb but it was hard to edit) to all of you blog readers. Fret not! Relax... My songs will be transferred right back to this blog. Happy snooping!

2004-04-29T21:59:00.000-07:00

Since Jeremy just told me that Daniel's birthday is TODAY and not TOMORROW at the last minute... I'll rush through this song. Sorry Daniel if this is a bit awkward... Just to say a simple Happy Birthday!

ThE DaY - especially for Daniel Heng

This is something I rushed through
Listening on the otherside - Emo
It was just last minute
I received the message

Someone mistook THE date
Got it all mixed-up
So this time, I'm making it up - to you

*Didn't know, Never heard
Until someone just told me - a second ago
Said that it was tomorrow
But it turns out to be today

Sorry for delays
Really didn't expect
Just send you, a text message
That is if only, you happened to be reading it

All the things that happened is said
And they are running through my head
Sorry if this song turns out mixed-up
It's just that I have to go soon

So I'll make an announcement
It's Daniel's Birthday
Walk up to him and bow

*Didn't know, Never heard
Until someone just told me - a second ago
Said that it was tomorrow
But it turns out to be today

Sorry for delays
Really didn't expect
Just send you, a text message
That is if only, you happened to be reading it

*Didn't know, Never heard
Until someone just told me - a second ago
Said that it was tomorrow
But it turns out to be today

Sorry for delays
Really didn't expect
Just send you, a text message
That is if only, you happened to be reading it

So I'll say
It's your day
Can't expect to be good enough
Just waiting for your call
Before I fall
Happened to pass by
And said a little "Hi"
And so it comes and goes

Sorry Daniel. This song's a bit crappy... I'll write you a better one when I don't have to rush, okay?

2004-04-28T20:14:00.001-07:00

I feel so guilty today! I scratched Ron on the neck until he bled! No! I didn't to do that! It was not part of my plan! Why is it that everytime I want to show him how I feel, it always end up this way? Making him think that I'm a totally unscrewed person... And I always end up regretting what I've done... I hate this! Maybe I should just avoid him... Have to find time to apologise to him tomorrow... I feel so BAD... The words "I'm sorry" never came out! It's exactly like Blue's Sorry Seems To be The Hardest Word.... Ron... Ron... I miss you so much... Can't help crying over this matter. I'm sorry. And Ronnie, if you're reading this blog... check out the song I wrote for you at my "side" blog, where I write all my songs in. And as I'm entering this entry, I'm listening to Emo now. Makes me water and relate to today's incident... Song title = Angels on my side by Starfish.

2004-04-28T18:42:00.000-07:00

MaKiNg HiM ThInK
The world seems to not care
God doesn't seem to be there
Everything has gone wrong
Especially what I did to Ron

I didn't mean to hurt him
Make him bleed
It's not part of my plan
And I find it hard to say "sorry"

*It's the truth - held close to my heart
Wish I could say it out loud but I'm afraid
That he'll run away and hide

Can't find a proper way to express
These feelings swirling inside
Gave him a hard time
And made he'll think of me as otherwise

With me jumping on him all the time
He'd probably take heed and run
I've been kinda violent towards him
Trying to tell him - but it always turns out in chaos

I can't help it
This was not what I wanted to do
It just came and took over me
I was spiritually dead, can't you see?

*It's the truth - held close to my heart
Wish I could say it out loud but I'm afraid
That he'll run away and hide

Can't find a proper way to express
These feelings swirling inside
Gave him a hard time
And made he'll think of me as otherwise

*It's the truth - held close to my heart
Wish I could say it out loud but I'm afraid
That he'll run away and hide

Can't find a proper way to express
These feelings swirling inside
Gave him a hard time
And made he'll think of me as otherwise

Just writing this song
I'm sadden deep in my heart
Trying to straighten things out
Don't want him to think I'm what he thinks
I need help
Want help
But how to get help?

*It's the truth - held close to my heart
Wish I could say it out loud but I'm afraid
That he'll run away and hide

Can't find a proper way to express
These feelings swirling inside
Gave him a hard time
And made he'll think of me as otherwise

2004-04-27T21:18:00.000-07:00

Hate my dad
He's disconnecting the internet connection this 17th May
Have to get my own cashcard
To use the computer at the Library
Scolded me
For using the computer
Cut my computer usage
Hate him
Friends love you more than your dad does

2004-04-26T23:02:00.000-07:00

In GrEaT PaIn

I'm lying here, staring at the shadows on my wall
This is how my day has been
I hate this world that I live in
Things have gone all wrong for me
I just need a little time, to be alone

There's a hole
In this place
I'm hoping I can make a difference

*And I'm standing all alone
noone cares about me at all
It doesn't matter to them,
Even if I'm bleeding inside
How can I carry on in life
And this I have to say
What really happened today

noone bothers about the things that I do
They just expect me, to be there for them
Am I just a freak
To be victed by the pains of you
I just want to think, for once

There's a hole
In this place
I'm hoping I can make a difference

*And I'm standing all alone
noone cares about me at all
It doesn't matter to them,
Even if I'm bleeding inside
How can I carry on in life
And this I have to say
What really happened today

So I'm falling
Pushed down by disgrace
Feeling a little sore
I wish that I could close my eyes
And let my Father in heaven take over

*And I'm standing all alone
noone cares about me at all
It doesn't matter to them,
Even if I'm bleeding inside
How can I carry on in life
And this I have to say
What really happened today

2004-04-26T20:09:00.000-07:00

Boring... Returning back to school isn't what I desire. Apart from seeing you-know-who, that is! Daniel (Ting) cut his hair! I wish that it'll be back the way it is!

*ahem*... The... you-know-who... Was on time again. Sad man...

Nothing else to enter here. Nothing interesting happened.

Oh yeah... Mahdi went to collect his bag today. He wanted to exchange it to another type - guess what? Melissa's bag! Haha... And Mahdi was so damn bloody disgusting... He is such a "messy-eater"... Yucko! Gross! Eeeeeeee....

2004-04-25T22:09:00.000-07:00

Today's CELL was totally different. Our CELL broke up into three seperate groups. All the guys were taught by Joseph (my CM)... I pity Joseph man... Two girls stuck with Rachael. This time, I pity those two. Rachael's scary when she teaches... I'll prefer Joseph... Although he doesn't say anything during CELL... And the remaining three of us? Haiz... Went with Maisie...

Wah! I was noticed in church! All because of my hair... And Shin Yee had to keep saying I "Chio-bu"... And that Maisie, she asked if I WAS Ginelle... Aiyoh... Then Rachael, she made an "announcement" about my hair. "Before I start, who thinks that Ginelle's hair is very nice today?"... Embarrassed at the guys' remarks... Sheesh... After CELL, she made another BIG "announcement"... She told Jeanie and Pastor Cui Xian! Now I don't know where to hide my face... And my cousin... Did he notice?

I just realized that my cousin (Nigel), was an usher. Not until he "ushered" me. And why did that "five-year-old" kid not come today? And ya... Daniel changed his style today. Never saw him in casual wear and chains before. And this was the first time I saw him in his specs! Haha... Suppose he looks younger though. What's this? He was kneeling on the stage during service and fiddling with something... Did something come off?

Saw Jenn today. Alot of times at that too. The strange thing was, I didn't even say a "Hi"... *failure*... And I wonder why he looked sort of upset (or is it angry?) half-way during the worship.

Jenn is online. Rarely. Hmm... Must ask him to teach me...

2004-04-24T23:34:00.000-07:00

Wah! Daniel just came back from his field camp. He complained about the camp being shit and that he was suffering from heat rash. At least he's back. I wonder if he's playing for service tomorrow. Hmm... I wonder if Jenn's free... I want to learn how to strum... :( He has no time... That's sad for me. I'll send him a text message over tomorrow as my HI-card has no money left in it now. Boo-hoo...

And one more thing... Is Daniel going to change his style tomorrow? Can't wait to see! Wee! Haha... Anyway, I'm fretting over tomorrow's CELL meeting... I don't know how to say a Prayer... Sheesh, it's embarrassing. Hope I'll see Joshua tomorrow. It's been a long time since I last heard from him (okay, okay... only a "few" days). He has been very quiet and he's been not talking to me. I'm so sad, why is everyone (including Ron [darn! Just said his name]) running away from me?

As I'm entering this entry, I'm listening to Starfish's song Matt sent me. It's a nice Emo song but it isn't really what I want to make me feel even more down.

Yes! Got Jenn's mobile phone number! *happy happy*

Hate ICQ... Sucks... Met a perverted wacko... BASTARD!

One more thing before I go, Eunice is a sweet girl. Can't believe that she isn't Daniel's girlfriend... And to think that someone said that she was a big "MEANIE"....

Got to go. Have to get up early tomorrow to go to church. Bless me Father...

2004-04-23T19:22:00.000-07:00

It's sick! Totally sick! We had three and a half hours of Maths! What the! I slept half-way through and did not pay attention... Sheesh... Now I'm having problems with my homework... Guess what? At least I made the class laugh - I said "We very seldom see homosapiens..." when Ms Christine asked why were we so distracted when people passed by the classroom... Haha

2004-04-23T06:39:00.000-07:00

Oh man! My mother found out that I use the computer every morning before I go to school! I'm so dead! Off to school now!

2004-04-21T19:31:00.000-07:00

I'm in a fixed situation, where everything has gone wrong. Is it really that wrong for me to love? I can't stand it! Is it my fault or the way I am? I just can't bring myself to do it, he's probably going to run away from me. We might never talk to each other again... And someone could be turning green, and "someone" could get hurt... Emotionally.

I can't believe I fell for it! I can't believe I was so glum when Ron told me that he was not going for Drama Club this morning! I was very elated to find him there... And of course, angry, jealous... blah blah blah...

Ronnie started his "FULL" load of crap. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah... He's making me crack up! I wish he would just stop. Drop that "name" for a while., treat me better in a nice, friendly way. Is that too much to ask? *sigh*... I still can't accept the fact that I LIKE him and I can't potray the way I feel in an indirect way to him... It's getting very annoying and I wish that my Father in heaven would just HELP me!

We were taping the boxes together to form what you call, "boxy-tree trunks". And what crap did I do? Die and fly? No! But maybe I did! I got scolded for hitting Ron's head with a "slacky" piece of cardboard. That's what I get for HIM BULLYING ME!It's just so unfair. He treats the other "girls of his", in a nice and gentle way. And he is doing this to me?

It's nice that we worked together. His whole self - a mimic of Ah Teo. I just can't help but to forgive him whenever I look into those charming, all-sorry, tearing eyes of his. I have no choice. I feel angry but I turn red not because of anger. What was it for? I just can't stop having that quirking feeling when I'm around him, so I blush...

I kind of sat too close to him when he was cutting those "paper leaves" that his butt "landed" on my knee.

I have to stop talking about him, mentioning him on my blog. So... For this... I'll S-T-O-P!

2004-04-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

Today had been a bad day. Ronnie came "just-on-time", so I didn't see him until the assembly bell rang. I couldn't tell him about tomorrow's Drama Club things. *sigh*... And I skipped my Geography remedial just to find him and tell him personally after school! Guess I waited for nothing...

I rebonded my hair today. It took a darn long time and I fell asleep in between. When they just applied the "paste", my whole head felt heavy and was like being pulled down. Oww... My neck! The hair-dresser was very polite... But only that he couldn't speak English, or understand; he had a hard time communicating with my mother.

I am so tired. After editing that whole chunk of the blog template, my eyes and brains are sore.

2004-04-20T16:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, Ron. This time, this crappy song is for you. Please keep your comments to yourself in-case you're shocked, startled, or suffering from a heart-attack. If your girlfriend sees this, she's welcomed to kill me. I'm just putting my thoughts down. Some lines might be making no sense - they are just there to make the song interesting.

RoN Is GoNe, GoNe Is RoN

Hey you, the one who's been calling me names
I know you're just trying to be a little lame
But I don't care
Even when you're stripped down to your underwear

You know I won't lie
To you until I die
And I'm just saying this
It's something that might not make you please

And I said "Ron is gone and gone is Ron"
Now you know all that I've been through
And all that I've done...

*These words are from my heart
These words are not made up
And you don't realize that everything I do
Is true

Nothing I do
Means to you
You just keep on irritating me
Are you implying this because of my sanity?

Yes, I know you were just having a little fun
But do you know that it hurts when you got my heart undoned?
Please stop this craziness
You know how I feel, so this song's for you

And I said "Ron is gone and gone is Ron"
Now you know all that I've been through
And all that I've done...

*These words are from my heart
These words are not made up
And you don't realize that everything I do
Is true

Nothing I do
Means to you
You just keep on irritating me
Are you implying this because of my sanity?

But when it starts to rain
Don't worry I'll be there to take away your pain
It doesn't matter even though you push me aside
I still miss you on the inside

*These words are from my heart
These words are not made up
And you don't realize is this all I get

Nothing I do
Really cares to you
You just keep on making me pissed
Are you implying this because of my sanity?

2004-04-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

So what crap did I do? I totally made a bum out of myself.

So that Egg? What did he do? I wanted to go over to him - until I saw his "bunch of girls"... So I was just "admiring" the scenery... Then, huh? Was he diverting his attention to me? Yes! He looked up and we both saw each other... Then... What I wanted him to do came true... He Walked over!

One expression: "Baaaaaaaaaa"... Ronnie started his load of crap. "What you baa-ing about?" and stuff like that... I toyed with him by strangling him... Squishing his neck. I accidentally hit his head against a pillar in the canteen. Oops! But that sure kept him quiet for a while. Ha... I'm really sorry! And my finger was in his mouth! Yes! He closed his mouth and I sort of got "bitten"... With the saliva and all... Then when his head felt better, he started making fun of me again... Argh!

I hope his attending Drama Club this Wednesday - so I can deploy a mission to... Squish him! Oh my God! I forgot to tell him what to bring! It's just that I can't seem to find him nowadays... *sigh*

2004-04-18T18:35:00.000-07:00

Sunday? Yes! Youth Cell, Youth Service... As usual, I left my house late. And as usual, CMs were... one late only... I met my cousin on the way. We actually took the same train to Redhill, but the strange thing was - we didn't even noticed each other! How weird can that get?

I squished a bug at JLC today. Pretty big bug at that too. EEEEEEEEEE! I didn't realize that I had squished this... (Whatever the bug species was) until I heard "the sound"...

Pastor Ronald was a bit too disgusting and sacarstic about today's service. The people behind me were screaming at him.

After service, I was excited about meeting my friend (initially, I was)... Until her dumb friend came along... Pile of crap... Very pissed at the whole gang... Except those four little innocent ones (okay, one huge one too)...

I have nothing much to say... Yes, I don't... I've just changed my blog's templete and I hope you'll find it better!

2004-04-17T16:26:00.000-07:00

Colin, Colin, Colin! That's all my friend thinks of! Every second, every minute "Colin! Colin". What's her problem? On the other-hand, I've been thinking to much about Ron. He just so remind me of Ah Teo!

And what's up with Mahdi? He's been going around asking people, " Have you been to Malay Land? ". Imagine some old people toothless and bald, holding hands and dancing around Teletubby land... Everyone is laughing at it but I don't seem to get the joke! And now Mahdi thinks that his "Malay Land" is now lame...

I cannot seem to burn discs right. The music in a disc I've burn always skips. It's getting so irritating. Can anyone tell me what the problem is?

Nothing else interesting happened today. So I don't think I have anything else to blog in this entry. So please check my blog regulary! I'll be back - soon!

2004-04-16T22:54:00.000-07:00

Matt's been weird. He's never been nice to me ever since I offended him. But it was nice to hear from him. His motive? Get MP3s.. Joked around and said he was being nice... Haha... I know what's in your head Matt!

2004-04-16T17:46:00.000-07:00

I did'nt talk to Ron today. Let alone see. Okay, I did catch a glimpse of him when doing this thing called "The Compettitors' Oath"... or whatever it's called... Haiz... Only a while... Then, I lost him for the rest of the day!

Anyway, today's Sports Meet was a total disaster! Our class came in the last (yes, I was in the race), and... blame me? What the? I was the last to receive the baton and it was my fault? I ran as fast as I could to catch-up and it was my fault? What a bloody team-mate! Went around scolding all of us...

Let's not talk about it... Let's see what else I can think of... Ah-ha! A song! I promised Ron I'll write a song for him, so here it goes...

ThAt ThInG AbOuT RoN

*I know that you'll don't care Ron
Even when I'm gone
You'll still be making fun of me
Bringing up what I used to be

But you know that I care?
It does'nt matter even if you're stripped down bare
And this song is just for you
I'm singing about the things that you do

Seen you around the canteen a few times
I was never dreaming about limes
Met you - the first day of Drama Club
And known you just last Wednesday

I was surprised, you talked to me
It's more than what I expected the day to be
Loved the way you made a fool of yourself
And making jokes I could'nt tell

As I was saying
These words keep coming
I was sitting at the back
With you when you slacked
You made me laugh
So now I'm feeling all your fluff

*I know that you'll don't care Ron
Even when I'm gone
You'll still be making fun of me
Bringing up what I used to be

But you know that I care?
It does'nt matter even if you're stripped down bare
And this song is just for you
I'm singing about the things that you do

So I want to say more about you
Liked the way you tripped
Like the way I tortured you
But I did'nt mean to squish your face

And let me say
The way you have and did not make my day
I really loved your pretty lame jokes
You should say them to other folks

As I was saying
These words keep coming
I was sitting at the back
With you when you slacked
You made me laugh
So now I'm feeling all your fluff

*I know that you'll don't care Ron
Even when I'm gone
You'll still be making fun of me
Bringing up what I used to be

But you know that I care?
It does'nt matter even if you're stripped down bare
And this song is just for you
I'm singing about the things that you do

Now you know how I really feel
Please stop making me ill
'Cos I'm here to be your friend
To be with you
And make it through

As I was saying
These words keep coming
I was sitting at the back
With you when you slacked
You made me laugh
So now I'm feeling all your fluff

*I know that you'll don't care Ron
Even when I'm gone
You'll still be making fun of me
Bringing up what I used to be

But you know that I care?
It does'nt matter even if you're stripped down bare
And this song is just for you
I'm singing about the things that you do

2004-04-15T16:40:00.000-07:00

Phew... I'm lucky to be able to find my Art examination paper... Anyway, did I mention that I'll continue about Ron (EGG)? Okay, let's see... I spotted him in the morning (OKAY, OKAY! I was waiting for him!)... I followed him and I met "Pat" (Aung Latt) at the cooler. Guess what I did? Yep... Squish him! Well, not at first. I tapped him on the shoulder and said: "Say **** again and..". And he said the same thing he always says (since yesterday): "Baaaaaaaaaa...". Why that little... (Here's the part where I squish his neck)... That squish was so... so... so... I don't know! Some quirky feeling lah! He said "Baaaaaaaaaa..." when I was in the middle of squishing his neck... And.. and... The vibrations of his vocal cords were felt when my hands were on his neck... It was like so damn rough (and damn nice)! I got a little startled and I let go...(why did I have to do that!?) Haiz... I'm still trying to get his email address or if possible, his handphone number (fat hope!)... Sheesh, his personality reminds me sooooooo much of Ah Teo... I'm starting to miss that "Egg-brain"... Sorry Ronnie, but please, if you're reading this entry... STOP CALLING ME A ****! One day I might just give you a GAY HUG! And yes, I must see him tomorrow to get his "contacts"... So badly want it... *sigh*... Please help me on this Lord!!! Please... Please... Help me! *sniff, sniff*..

2004-04-14T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today has been a rather good day, with swings of different emotions going on. School hours were boring - as usual. Yaddah, yaddah, yaddah... But after school dismissal, things changed. Things started to get more FUN... and irritating...

The library at Sun Plaza - Mahdi and I went there to make a new entry for OUR blog. I had a "great" time swirling the chair with half of his butt on the seat. After all the crap, Mahdi went for his organ class and me? Drama Club! I thought I was going to be late! Waiting at the bus-stop at 2.40... walking left and right; wondering when the bus WOULD come. Every waiting second lasted for eternity! But I did manage to get there on time as the rest were late as well.

Drama Club... Had a really damn boring time... Listening to I-don't-like songs chosen for a play. Blah, blah, blah... And what the? I got chosen to audition for the play.. And what line I had? The main character.. The most *eeeeeeeeeeeeee* lines... All so mushy... Yucks! Yaddah, yaddah, blah, blah... Turn after turn.. And YES! I did not have to stay! So damn lucky! So... I slacked at the back with Ron (The Egg) listening to his funny jokes... And him blabbering nonsense - like making fun of his friends' names... Now I understand why he was alone with ME... Yup, you've guess it... His jokes became lame...

At first, I thought he was a pretty cool and funny guy.. after only... like... er... 20 minutes or so, then he started his CRAP. CRAP... Called me a God-damned ****... That bloody freaken hell EGG... Had a hard time trying to "wack" him (meaning the butt). So how did I "deliver" his punishment? Jumped on him, squashed his neck, squished his face, hit him on the head (with my script and without it), slapped his back, ruffled his hair, wrestled with him (hand squish hand), undid his shoe laces, pulled his pants (too bad it did'nt came down...), poked him in the stomach, grabbed his chest, pulled his shirt, slapped his butt (I did it, but only half of my hand hit it... damn!), took his wallet, then threw it all over the AVA room, crumpled his script (unfortunately, he did more damage to mine), strangled him... I did sooooo many things to him... Haha..

I walked with EGG, hitting him, blah blah blah... So fun! Sat in front of him and... Fought with him... Yaya, smacked his face, squished... okay, you get the picture... And he just kept going on calling me B***** ****, M******* ****... Green grass.. What the hell! And I just had to see his stomach (by chance, I'm not desperate)! Slapped him goodbye (not his cheek; would'nt do that, Ron has this "THING" in him that stops you from doing anything serious [and furious] to him) and went off smiling like an idiot...

Colin was just too good to call Ron a racoon... Racoon's are cute.. Unlike ****s... RRR - Ron the Red Racoon. Nicer than ever - what a cute nickname! It's so unfair! *sigh* He's such a grown up guy, yet so childish inside... Behaving worser than Joshua (5-year-old-kid)... Hope I'll talk to him tomorrow, he's the first older known-only-a-few-hours kind of guy that is easy to talk to.

Wait... Did I mention about Jian Hui being called a "SEXY-BOY" by Hakim in drama club? Oh well, Hakim said that his shorts were damn short and it made him look "sexy"... And I wonder what's wrong with Hakim... He kept "harassing" Jian Hui's poor leg! Ewww....

So I'll stop here.. It's tiring for all you blog readers and me... Good night...

2004-04-13T00:01:00.000-07:00

I'm in pain. I'm so damn depressed. It's nothing - really. It's just that I'm down on my mood... Haha! Got you didn't I? Nope. I'm not THAT depressed. Just... Well.. A little sad.. For no apparent reason. Must be that really, really, REALLY sad song... Hey! It's okay! I'm just trying to fit myself into a mood for a blues!
So here it goes, a song.. for...

A Song For The Restless

For all I have seeked
I'm feeling a little weak
It's something I had been through before
And I can't bear this anymore

Why do I feel as if I'm dying
Why can't I stop myself from crying
Just hoping that someone could save me
And stop my heart from bleeding

*I'm singing a song for the restless
I'm sharing my pain with the dead
You know I've been hurt by you
It's because of every single thing you do

I'm singing a song for the restless
Wondering what I should do
It's because I'm decaying inside
And you can't see my insights

I'm lying here staring
At the empty space on my wall
As you can see
You have done already too much damage to me

Why do I feel as if I'm dying
Why can't I stop myself from crying
Just hoping that someonecould save me
And stop my heart from bleeding

*I'm singing a song for the restless
I'm sharing my pain with the dead
You know I've been hurt by you
It's because of every single thing you do

I'm singing a song for the restless
Wondering what I should do
It's because I'm decaying inside
And you can't see my in sights

*I'm singing a song for the restless
I'm sharing my pain with the dead
You know I've been hurt by you
It's because of every single thing you do

I'm singing a song for the restless
Wondering what I should do
It's because I'm decaying inside
And you can't see my insights

I was wrong
To think you'd last long
As I'm broken again
There's rain in my brain

I was wrong
To think you'd last long
As I'm broken again
There's rain in my brain

Ooh...

2004-04-12T18:32:00.000-07:00

Mahdi and I created a blog today. It's a rather crappy one.. All about our complaines about school. Hope you don't mind. My friend added some anger expressions in there - well, maybe a bit too much. Haha.. I'm so happy! Someone really, really, really likes my song! He even wanted to play a key to it! I feel sooooo high! Anyway, I'm busy editing the other blog, so don't mind that you'll be patient... And sorry if my blogs are short; and no songs included...

2004-04-11T23:27:00.000-07:00

I feel so damn dead. So damn unlucky. I smashed my discman... I hope it's okay... I'm so sad and depressed... The cause? A song... Sad.. Very sad and heart-breaking one... I have no mood to blog now.. I feel like crying, breaking down... Goodbye world.. Nope.. not forever! :)

2004-04-10T23:02:00.000-07:00

I erased Daniel's song (A song for my Pain) by accident when I was trying to add it into a playlist. He's playing for today's service. Sheesh.. Such a busy man.. Had to work too. At least he helped me with that song. I'm starting to think that he IS the person that Pastor Ronald wanted to recommend me to help me in my song-writing assignment.. Such a great guy. Anyway, I gave a few of my friends his MP3; and they really like it! They want to hear more too!
More people praised my songs I've written. I'm really starting to get appreciated! Thanks guys!
I'm so sleepy, I have Easter service tomorrow. I hope it'll be fun and I'm meeting Joshua! I just hope he remembers how I look like and hope he does'nt get the wrong person tomorrow!
Yes blog readers! Since you've liked my song, I'll write more in the future! Once again, thanks!

2004-04-09T23:58:00.000-07:00

It's been a long day. I just chatted online with Daniel from our church's Worship Team. I received a couple of MP3s on his band's songs from him. He just had to sing blues... Now I'm watering... Anyway, he gave me a few inspirations for my song - so thanks! And Daniel, if you happen to be reading this blog entry, this song's for you. Yes, it's about the 131 years meeting in heaven thingy. Anyway, thanks again for that line!

WhEn WiLL We MeEt

I saw you quite a number of times
In church - where I lost my dime
Strumming on the altar
You and your guitar
That's when I know you exist

I met you only today
Not last year's Friday
And I've got to know you
Writing this song - you pulled me through

*I know you want to see me
Want to know how I look like
You've been chatting with an unknown person
Sending me your songs in unison

Someday we'll meet,
In heaven's district
That's when 131 years have passed
Look how long we've last

Thanks for the line
Now my song ain't mixed up, it's fine
You gave me the words
When you said them in turns
Now I'm grateful, so this song's for you

I met you only today
Not last year's Friday
And I've got to know you
Writing this song - you pulled me through

*I know you want to see me
Want to know how I look like
You've been chatting with an unknown person
Sending me your songs in unison

Someday we'll meet,
In heaven's district
That's when 131 years have passed
Look how long we've last

So I hope you don't mind
I'll make this song mine
From me to you
'Cos of what you do

*I know you want to see me
Want to know how I look like
You've been chatting with an unknown person
Sending me your songs in unison

Someday we'll meet,
In heaven's district
That's when 131 years have passed
Look how long we've last

2004-04-08T20:07:00.000-07:00

Today's Cross-Country was a DISASTER! I ran WORSER than the Familiarization Run. I was one of the last competitors... What a shame. I nearly slipped as the track was wet and muddy. Other people have so much stamina; I run only a few metres then out of breath already.
My friend got all FREAKY today. She screamed over someone winning the race. No.. I should say she was disappointed that HE did'nt win the race. Then it turns out that he did got through - only that she forgot his chinese name...
I'm waiting for my friend to call while typing this entry in. She asked me to go to Service with her tomorrow, but she never tell me at what time. How can one attend something he or she is not sure of?

2004-04-07T19:32:00.000-07:00

I'm very excited about tomorrow. It's our 17th annual Cross-Country run - and I'm competing! Hopefully it rains like the familiarization run. Sure wish that God will pull me through this RACE. I'm placng my hopes on Him.
My friend has been "chewing straws" lately. I wonder what's wrong with him...
Meanwhile, I'm having problems with the blog pubishing.. So don't mind if you don't see the current entries - be patient and check later! Feel free to drop me an email anytime for comments.

jeandarknova_jielun@hotmail.com

2004-04-06T22:32:00.000-07:00

Finally! My computer got fixed after the case of "The Inverted Screen". I thought I might never blog again! Now I can carry on blogging! I'm not going to write a song this time.. But maybe in the future. I have to go now and yeah*.. Easter service! I'm definetely going this Sunday! Take cares.. to all of you blog readers out there!

2004-04-05T19:57:00.000-07:00

Here I am again, this time to compose a song. All about what I feel today..

TiReD

It's always been the same
I've always been this lame
Though I have'nt said
The price I paid today

It got me, had to sit at the back
It's just me, I just had to slack
I can't stop this addiction
It's hitting me like pollution

* I'm tired of being this way
Can't take the fact that I can't stop this
Someone remove it from me, please
I'm tired of lying here
It's this THING that I fear

I think I'm falling
Can't help but keep failing
I can't do anything right
I keep getting into a fight

It got me, had to sit at the back
It's just me, I just had to slack
I can't stop this addiction
It's hitting me like pollution

* I'm tired of being this way
Can't take the fact that I can't stop this
Someone remove it from me, please
I'm tired of lying here
It's this THING that I fear

Please stop, can't take more
All this is making me sore
I have to let go
Now everything I see is my foe

* I'm tired of being this way
Can't take the fact that I can't stop this
Someone remove it from me, please
I'm tired of lying here
It's this THING that I fear

* I'm tired of being this way
Can't take the fact that I can't stop this
Someone remove it from me, please
I'm tired of lying here
It's this THING that I fear

2004-04-05T15:49:00.000-07:00

Today has been a rather bad day. Woke up late and left the house late this morning. Reached school only to find the "desired" person was not there. I got punished for not handing in my Summary last Thursday. I had to rush through my Summary during class without getting caught.
I had my friend to teach me to play a so-called "depression song" on the piano. Success! But I just wish that someone would teach me how to play the drums properly! I got squished at the neck by someone today.. and on the head too. I should consider song-writting.. Since someone said it was not bad.. Thanks!

2004-04-04T17:48:00.000-07:00

Sunday, woke up early today only to find myself fall back to sleep. I had scared myself after viewing S.Fogs yesterday. I rushed and luckily (as usual), my Cell Mentors (CMs) were late. Nobody from my cell was there and I got kind of scared. I thought: " Either I'm late or they're not coming.." Shortly after, one of my CMs said they were on their way - one of them was in a cab and the other, in the train.
Being distracted for the whole cell session, Maisie, our CM took us out to Tanglin Mall for a change and treated us a meal each at MacDonald's with our cell fund. I did'nt know that there was such a place in Redhill as I only came here for services and I was new there... I got laughed at instead.
Our bus trip there was a little weird, we missed the first stop and had to get off at the next and walk. Maisie compared one of my cell mates to a rather large dog along the road. Maisie also told us about the Girl's Brigade drills and she being in FIVE CCAs when she was in secondary school.
After eating, we took the bus back to church. Due to delays, we were late for service.